Can confirm: I had a programming management position in the early 2000s, and once had a dev screaming at me with his nose less than two inches from my own after I called him out for egregious project delays (I was a programmer, too). I asked him if he’d like to take it outside, but he declined. Exactly the same energy I’ve had from others as a girl gamer.
I’ve never seen that behaviour towards men in a professional setting, but some of these immature boys seem to think it’s okay to act that way towards women.
And that’s why I gave up on multiplayer games years ago. I play to have fun, not to be the dartboard for these children’s unresolved mommy issues when I’m not even getting paid for it.
e: hey downvoters, how about you reply with why you took issue with my comment. I’m honestly curious about what I said that you didn’t like. Was it that you’re manchildren who can only challenge people you perceive as lesser than yourselves, and that’s only women and children, or was it that I called you out in the first place? Please, let me know where on this porcelain doll I hurt you.
The absolute least you can do is to tell me how my words injure you so. Downvoting with no comment is a bitch move.
But that shit just sucks. Women shouldn’t have to bar themselves from multiplayer because dudes are insecure. We need some real mental healthcare and some real culture adjustment.
I didn’t understand programming at all when I was in school. I actually needed tutoring because I was doing so bad. I didn’t get to pick my tutor, but the person who revealed how it all works to me and enabled me to do what I do, was a woman.
Women shouldn’t have to bar themselves from multiplayer because dudes are insecure.
You’re totally right, but that’s like saying ‘I shouldn’t have to stop swimming in the lake because that company has released all their sewage into it.’
Yeah, it’s horrible and I could swim there with both middle fingers up the whole time, but this is my leisure time and I’m just tired of trying to make a stand everywhere. There’s a hot tub in my room.
I should rephrase that. I feel that is all too common. Because every single woman has a story about this, while maybe 1/20 people have swam in sewage infested lakes unvoluntarily.
Its just kind of tiring, I face absolute toxic masculinity at work everyday and I know my daughters are gonna have to deal with it when they get older.
I downvoted and You asked for the why and here it is: I’m also programmer and I have experienced aggressive behavior both, from women to men and the other way around but only between those that were close to each other (friends). I have never experienced the same behavior between colleagues that were not familiar to each other and also not from supervisors to lower grades.
I know that my experiences are just mine and others may have made others so the downvote is because You’re assuming there’s a structual problem where there is just your own personal experience. To round it up, I have not much respect for ppl who direct themselves to the victim role.
Hey thanks for responding!
In my case, it wasn’t an assumption of a structural problem, and I’d counter you may be assuming it was. *
This was like a year into my position and that asshole was a contractor who had no issues with male supervisors, but had documented issues with women. Part of the reason I was put in charge of the project was because the previous (also female) PM had quit after several incidents that had her crying in the toilet after meetings with that guy, and I was considered strong enough to handle him.
I know what he was doing and why. That was the worst – and arguably the most unfair – situation of my professional career, but there were others milder but no less unfair.
I appreciate your response, but honestly it feels like you’re assuming more than me here.
e: * sentence structure
