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43 points

Rand Paul’s neighbor assaulted him with suburban rage over Rand’s sticks being on his side of the property line. Broke a couple of his ribs, but because Rand’s a senator he got sentenced to like a year in prison.

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30 points

Critical support

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21 points

Didn’t Rand also lose hearing in one ear?

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Bet he didn’t hear that coming

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5 points

Don’t forget the $500k civil penalty

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