I started a lemmy instance at https://lemmy.myserv.one but find it hard to get people to join. The instance is just a way to help reduce the load on other lemmy servers like lemmy.world so one would think it would be desirable to join as its quite fast and simply makes the experience better without detracting from anyones favorite instance they already feel loyal to. Would be interesting to hear how other people find members to join. From a user perspective I understand that looking for the most popular server and joining there makes sense since then you are doing what everyone else did, so from that point of view I understand why everything gets piled up on just a few servers.
Same thing happened during the first wave. Everyone piled into lemmy.ml because that was the official-looking instance until it started crashing every hour and staying down for long periods due to the overload.
I assume the same thing will happen here. People will pile into lemmy.world until it starts crashing every hour, at which point people will actually start spreading out a bit.