It’s a song that speaks to your flavour of depression. Makes you feel like someone feels the exact same way you do. That in turn makes you feel sane. Like you’re heard. Even understood.
Over time, songs (or movies or other things) can become a ritual - you feel awful, listen to the song, eventually you come out the other side as the depressive episode fades. Then the next time it happens you associate the song with your recovery. So over time it becomes What You Do when you Feel That Way.
What song would you recommend to someone who has done things she regrets when she had the opportunity to have something good and lives with the still-ongoing snowball effect that she is so used to seeing as karmic that she doesn’t typically bring up any of the issues?
Here’s the closest I’ve got.
Priest is an electronic music project originally formed by ex-members of the hugely popular band Ghost. I’d call this Darkwave, but the label doesn’t matter, it’s depeche mode-y and don’t let the gimp mask put you off, I believe the song is very sincere.
I can't stop, it's too late, it pours out, it's my fate
My legacy in black
Looking in to my eyes, see the things i despise
My soul is tainted black
I traveled with the enemy, i thought it was my destiny
I'm free of all the lunacy
I never want it back, my history in black
Silent screams longing voice, violent dreams, ringing noise
My memory is black
It's not a mask, it's my skin
Please don't ask where i've been
My heart is painted black
I traveled with the enemy, i thought it was my destiny
I'm free of all the lunacy
I'm never want it back, my history in black
I escaped from the cage inside
I traveled with the enemy, i thought it was my destiny
I'm free of all the lunacy
I never want it back, my history in black
My history in black
Swans - Song for Dead Time
So bury your trust beneath the ground with me, dear
And lay your loneliness down for the sun to burn
To sand…
