How old were you when you began questioning/considering you weren’t “normal”? I’m in my 30s and almost all at once feel like I’m not sure what I am in most demensions and struggling to figure out what I feel about anything. I’ve been married, happily for a while, which adds a little to the confusion.
I’m not totally sure… Maybe both? I felt somewhat uncomfortable with certain aspects of my body, on and off, as I assumed all do for a long while.
I had assumed that gender expression was about how you revealed yourself to the world, but this is all so very new to me. Newer than I would have expected.
I’m not sure if this will help you or not, but gender expression can be whatever you want it to be. How you express yourself in private can be different than how you express yourself in public, or how you express yourself to family can be different than how you express yourself to friends.
Maybe you don’t identify with any gender. Maybe you identify with your current gender but there are still some things that don’t feel right. Or maybe you identify with something else altogether. Any of these is perfectly okay.
I’d also like to point out that being uncomfortable with certain aspects of your body can be normal, but it depends on the context. For example, feeling uncomfortable because of where your body carries its weight is very different from feeling uncomfortable because it feels like part of your body doesn’t represent you accurately.
I think in this situation you’d do well to do a bit of googling. Read various sources about coming out, stories about how people realized and came to terms with their identities, and just information about questioning in general.
In my opinion, everyone should question their gender and self-identity at some point in their lives. For most people, that probably just means going “Am I comfortable being a boy/girl?” and answering it with “yes” and then going on with their lives, but for some people it might lead to deeper exploration.
Thank you so much for your help. I will definitely try to keep this in mind in all this figuring. I have a hard time expressing things in words but this has been more than helpful!
