I’m the most Kkkrackkkers of Amerikkkans so my tradition is just getting drunk off mulled wine and re-watching bad holiday movies with relatives I only kinda like.

I’m sometimes a little jealous of people who have weirder shit going on, like gremlins who slam doors and steal sausages or shitting Christmas logs. We need to bring back weird ass half-pagan shit.

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why would i have any in the first place?

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Well…uh…if you did, I’d take it for ya.

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