She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!

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67 points

She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything. She’s way better now. But some people comment on her change of weight because they compare it to how she was before.

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7 points

When she was under weight, just tell her she looks a lot healtier then she did and most importantly that you like her no matter what.

With humans it’s just like with other animals, you shouldn’t be able to see the ribs, you need to be able to feel them, just. (You can go hunt for them and tickle her to prove it ;) )

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-29 points
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It´s a trap. She seems to suffer from an eating disorder, so if you directly respond to the statement, you can only lose. No matter what you say she will find a way to turn it around. Instead ignore the “I am fat” part and immediately steer away from the topic. Try something like:

I’m sorry, it looks like this is freaking you out. You know it’s not useful to talk about it, right? So, let’s do something to change the mood. Shall we (insert activity you both enjoy) instead?

I wish you both all the best!

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35 points
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‘Tell your gf to just ignore it and not talk about being upset to you’ is a great way to ruin a relationship. A woman being upset is not a trap, and viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure.

ETA: This guy can’t stop editing comments to try to make it look like he had less of a meltdown than he did.

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-5 points
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You (and the others who downvoted my comment) are completely missing the main point here, which is that the gf is obviously showing behavioural patterns connected to a form of eating disorder, like Anorexia and/or Bulimia.

A woman being upset is not a trap

Of course not. However, a conversation about “being fat”, with a person who suffers from an eating disorder is definitely a trap, as long as you are not a specialized therapist.

viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure

I view eating disorders as adversarial, not relationships. Please stop projecting your incorrect assumptions on me.

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