I have a couple of older relatives who only communicate via phone call and I hate talking on the phone. My other relatives don’t stay in contact as often as I do, so I feel bad not reaching out and keeping them company.
Do you have any strategies to manage the energy drain from phone calls?
Why do you dislike talking on the phone? For me it’s because I use more cognitive energy trying to understand speech due to auditory processing issues. It also really stresses me out to be expected to spontaneously socialize at the moment my phone erupts with an alarm. I like video calls better because reading lips helps me understand speech, and I prefer pre-scheduled calls near the end of the day so there’s a generally consistent expectation of how long the call will last. I also make sure I have stuff nearby to fidget with because it helps me ground/regulate while socializing.
I get stressed out because I’m trying to hear what the person is saying and if I listen quietly, they can’t see me nodding and paying attention. So I have to consciously add verbal confirmations that I hear them and I’m paying attention.
I think I need to fidget, but it’s also just not being sure how to convey I’m paying attention. I think I’ll ask my relatives to bear this in mind; that I’m listening even if you don’t hear me saying ‘uh huh’.
