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24 points

Was that actually merchandise in the store? I just thought they found the designer for Target’s merch, looked up his website, and found the Satanic stuff there. Not that it should matter either way.

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14 points

It’s extremely easy for an evangelist to make something into a satanic symbol. I don’t remember exactly how she did it but my grandma managed to make “zoso” (which if you’re not familiar with led zeppelin, each band member had a symbol and that was page’s) into some anti Jesus bs and used Bonham’s trinity symbol to justify it somehow.

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7 points
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I had an old grazy relative in the 90s (she’s since died, praise Kaballah Monster) who refused to go to one of our cousins’ homes because they had a “thriving fig tree” in their yard, which, as you know, is an affront to Jesus, because he cursed a fig tree. So, naturally, having a fig tree that is doing well is like, insulting Christianity everywhere.

We scheduled as many events as possible at said cousin’s home.

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7 points
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I remember my mom watching TBN back in the 80’s. They had someone on who claimed that the Care Bears were Satanic because if you squint just right and pronounce some of it wrong, it sounds kinda sorta like “Cerberus.”

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6 points

They get offended by the number 666. What’s 667-1? Somebody get the AG to issue a cease and desist to math!

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5 points

I think Florida schools are way ahead of you.

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6 points

It wasn’t. They stalked one of the artists and found that other designs (which weren’t released at Target) had some of that imagery. Absolute insanity.

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