But if you do share, we’ll be happy to charge a split plate fee.

I run a restaurant, and encourage people to share. My burgers are 3/4 pounders on garlic Texas Toast, bacon, onion rings, spicy aioli, Dijon and fancy pickles with old white cheddar. If I can sell those for 17, turn a profit and encourage people with smaller appetites to order one and cut it in half, these chain restaurants with 1 dollar input cost instead of 6 can fuck right off.

“You try stopping her from sharing my food. I have yet to find success in that endeavor.”