Ah, good old Book of Erotic Fantasy. It’s so gloriously stupid that everyone should own a copy. That table is by far not the silliest part of the book.

It’s only bested by the official sex rulebook for The Dark Eye, which is an April Fools joke that spiraled out of control and has actual rules for intercourse – deliberately bureaucratic and unsexy ones included purely as a “you asked for it” joke at the reader’s expense.