Holy hell I absolutely identify with this.
I was diagnosed at a very young age but I didn’t knew what it really is for a long time. As a teen I forgot for a few years that I even have ADHD and was doing what’s described in the post. I couldn’t figure out WTF is wrong with me until I watched barkley’s presentation on neuroanatomy of ADHD which enlightened me on that.
I’ve not been formally diagnosed, but I’m 100% sure I have had ADHD. I talked with my parents about it a few weeks ago and they basically just said “yeah you probably have always had it, but we never argued your doctor about it”. The idea that I’m in my thirties and only recently really identified why I struggle with things is so infuriating. Worse yet is the fact that there were things that could have helped me succeed and be more comfortable in school is just the worst. I manage fine at this point with various strategies to be successful so it’s not really worth it to me to talk to my doctor and argue that I’ve always been like this, but man is it just hard sometimes.
I was diagnosed at 40. I have meds for when my coping mechanisms fail me. It’s awesome
See a different doctor and get a diagnosis. It can really help for stuglff like getting accomodations or meds, and meds can really be helpful for a lot of people. I got diagnosed as an adult because my parents never believed me when I suggested I had it as a kid, and it made a world of difference. Even just knowing for sure helps me mentally.
Yep, I’m not diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I have it. The one doctor I had long enough to even bring it up immediately discounted the possibility because I’d graduated high school (which he didn’t even bother checking if that was true before saying that). So many people dismiss it out of hand simply because I’m “not a complete idiot”. Yet many people with diagnosed ADHD have just assumed I’m diagnosed and are shocked when I say I’m not. One person actually laughed at me because they thought I was joking because “There’s no way you don’t have ADHD, stop messing with me”. Like I probably do, but I’m not diagnosed. Unfortunately ADHD diagnosis is far from the top of the list of shit I need to work on so it won’t happen soon.
I got diagnosed but ended up getting a second opinion because I could tell my doctor didn’t know anything about adhd, he just gave me a brief 1 page questionnaire to fill out to diagnose me, and then later when I was talking to him about how I need a doctor’s note about my adhd related to my driver’s license he told me it was silly for me to need that because “people with adhd are actually better drivers”, and I knew at that point that I didn’t actually trust his opinion on the matter (people with adhd are NOT better drivers in most cases) and so I sought out an assessment with the health centre at my local university (I had access as a student) and their test was actually in depth and their doctors actually knew what they were talking about and what the executive functions are. They confirmed my diagnosis for me lol. A lot of family doctors/GPs don’t actually know a lot about adhd, but they could at least recommend people to a specialist instead of dismissing it when they don’t know anything about it. Graduating high school is NOT a determining factor, many people who get diagnosed as adults are people who graduated high school, me included.
I mean, I’ve been diagnosed for like 25 years now and I still have to do this.
Yup. It’s a developmental disorder instead of a mental illness (like autism). Our frontal lobe or prefrontal cortex didn’t develop properly.
I think ADHD is a horrible name for it. Executive Functioning Disorder is a much more accurate name.
I think ADHD is a horrible name for it.
Rather that saying that as an opinion say that as if it was an objective truth because it is one. It is truly a terrible name for the disorder because it’s named after how we inconvenience neurotypicals and not after our struggles. It should either describe our struggles properly or have a serious sounding neutral name where people won’t be assuming things about the disorder.
Uhhh, autism is a developmental disorder as well, it’s not a mental illness. It’s often comorbid with mental illnesses, but so is ADHD.
I’m officially ADHD-PI (formerly ADD) and medicated, so I guess I don’t have this particular tendency, but my wife is diagnosed ADHD-C, unmedicated, and also struggles with identifying her emotions in the moment due to an unconventional upbringing. She does this literally any time she’s experiencing a negative emotion (embarrassment, anger, feeling hurt, etc.) and can’t identify it.
We’ve gotten better as a team at dealing with it, but it’s always on me to recognize when it’s happening and initiate the mediation, so it’s really exhausting, sometimes.
I have this weird quirk where I don’t notice my current emotions but because I daydream a lot I realise my current emotions through my attitude/situation in the daydream. This happens when I’m slightly sad/frustrated/angry etc. I can recognise stronger emotions but not always though because sometimes they happen to be too complex for me to understand.
Interesting, my wife also daydreams a lot, I wonder if she would say the same thing. I’ll have to ask.
There’s a fun world past this where you have accepted your value to others and internalized your own value to the point where your ADHD is like the sting on a bee. People have to deal with it too get that honey. In fact the only reason they can get that honey is because you are a bee.
You get to shrug your shoulders and say deal with it. It never stops being a struggle in your own life, and you constantly need to engage in things that are just extra exhausting on top of normal life. But you are both valuable in spite of and because of your ADHD.
I know not every person with this can experience a scaffolded life, full of love and support, but plenty of you can.
Beware the self hatred, beware the internalized uselessness that you’ve built over a life of just not being able to make yourself do anything despite wanting nothing more.
