81 points

The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time.
The last 10% of the task takes the other 90% of the time.

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9 points
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Which is why you switch the project team after 90% so you can get to 99% completion in 50% of the time. Now that’s thinking like a Project Manager.

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57 points

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.

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29 points

I try to remember to always under promise expectations. Even after all these years I keep forgetting that a simple change is never really that simple and has lots of overhead.

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8 points

Scotty had it right. Always multiply your estimates by four.

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4 points

That works until you are dictated a date you never agreed to. Going thru a little PTSD moment right now lol.

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24 points

It’s crazy that they got these images from my lunch today.

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23 points

I’ve been working on a single bug for nearly 3 weeks. I think my “I’m getting closer to understanding this” is starting to lose credibility with my team.

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19 points

Just do what my colleagues do, ignore it completely.

Pros: Very time and resource efficient. Little documentation needed.

Cons: Doesn’t solve the problem.

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Programmer Humor

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