I have so many friends who would 100% be labeled as an incel if they were men. They hold men to impossibly high standards while meeting none of those standards themselves.
For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.
The worst part is, calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We’re expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.
This is NOT to undermine the very real issues women have to deal with, for example the loss of bodily autonomy in the US. But this is still an issue worth discussing and nobody is talking about it.
The term “incel” was actually created by a woman and she was referring to herself. I guess social media and/or MSM liked it more as a derogatory term for men. But women can definitely fall into the same toxic mentality that men can.
Men are more likely to commit acts of violence, so…
I’m a man, for context. I despise violence.
That’s immaterial to the statement you’re replying to - Women are more likely to cheat in relationships, so I guess it’s fair game now?
Derogatory term? I thought people who considered themselves painfully involuntary celibate used it as a self descriptor and formed harmless communities initially. It has now become affiliated with an extreme ideology a certain violent offshoot that has overtaken the use of the term.
Simply having impossible, hypocritical standards does not make an incel.
I 100% guarantee if I had those standards I would be labeled an incel. You’re just flat wrong.
I’m dating a girl right now, and we talked a bit about ex partners and whatever. At some point ahe said she was dating a guy with a actual micro penis and how he was useless to her. She kinda expected me to laugh there but i just felt bad for the guy. She also told me that she likes about me that i’m really handy, she would never date a guy that works on a computer and couldn’t fix (her) stuff. I just said that’s a pretty weird thing to say. But when i thought about it later i realised how weird that is. She specifically said that “that kind of man would be useless to her.”
Never in my life have i even thought something like: “what does this woman bring to the table? She’s cute but she’s a bartender. That’s not very useful.”
The thing that i have learned from online dating the past few years is that women get away with way more than men because they can. This is not some incel manifesto, i don’t hate women at all, i always liked hanging out with women more than men, and if i’d get away with the shit they could, i probably would.
While you certainly have a point, I think that approach is one-sided. We, as a society, absolutely have similar expectations of women. It’s shallow of her (and a bit odd to hear someone admit to) to be so dismissive of her ex’s penis, but we absolutely dismiss the value of women that have small tits or ass, or their lack of willingness to do certain sexual acts. You wouldn’t dismiss a cute bartender for being useless, but you would absolutely dismiss a bar-owner (and thus, very useful) for being ugly.
See, no one would give a shit about incels if they quietly kept to themselves.
Unfortunately, incels tend to commit and encourage rape and murder.
Are the women you know murdering or raping men?
No?
Then it’s a them problem.
I’ve seen actual femcel communities on Reddit and they certainly don’t keep quietly to themselves. But whether there are more of them or if they are equally violent… No idea. Don’t really want to compare or know more to be honest.
They are not as violent, no. The raw numbers speak for themselves; the overwhelming majority of murders are committed by men. The overwhelming majority of men that are sexually assaulted are sexually assaulted by men. There are certainly women that complain about men, and say that ‘all men want it’, and such. But the raw numbers of women that commit murders or sexually assault men, are very low.
I don’t know anyone who has raped or murdered, men or women. Do you have a source for your claim?
So a dozen attacks? Not really the mass scale violence you claimed is it? Seriously, try harder.
expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day
Those are the worst, they hope to catch a man that they can pull down to their level.
Are there some women who have higher standards than they, themselves, live up to - sure. But that’s not what makes an incel.
An incel is someone who believes:
- People of my preferred gender kind of suck, mostly
- Despite mostly sucking, people of my preferred gender tend to have high standards <-- you are here
- Those high standards exclude me, and I think that’s unfair; it makes me angry that they won’t give me the chance I deserve.
- I’m tired of playing nice when none of them will give me the chance I deserve. I’ve written their entire gender off as trash, and my new hobby is constantly berating them.
People rarely say #3 and #4 out loud, so once you’re at #2 – which you are – people are going to start making some assumptions.
And yes, there are some women past #3 and #4 themselves, sure. We’ve all heard the occasional “men are pigs,” and that kind of intolerance shouldn’t be accepted no matter who it comes from. But it’s absolutely not many/most of us, and if you think so, you’re either being overly critical or surrounding yourself with the wrong kinds of friends - both of which are on you and show you need to de-incel your thinking before you go off the deep end.
This actually worries me a little because I don’t disagree with all of those points. #1 I think most people suck regardless of gender. #2 yes I think women tend to have higher standards than men even when it’s unfair. #3 I don’t think I deserve other people’s time but it does frustrate me how difficult it is just to find a woman willing to talk to me. Tinder sucks for men and hitting on women in public is creepy. #4 not at all.
