As some of you in the West might know; the newspapers are filled to the brim with the “newly” released stories from Xinjiang. Well, I had an old friend reach out to me and tell me that they are against everything I stand for (supporting China) and that they wish that if/when I go to China I’ll be oppressed like the Uyghurs. Before I had a chance to reply I had already been blocked. So I thought to go and check others and whether others had blocked me as well. I now have at least 2 people who deleted me because of anti-China propaganda. And while some of you might say; don’t cry over spilt milk … I do feel like more of a pariah with every day I stay in the West and openly support China.

These issues started during COVID. The sheer sinophobia I had to deal with on a daily basis during that time was absolutely sickening, but I mostly just grinned and bare it. Most of my time these last few years (while I wait for borders to reopen) is volunteering my time at a care centre for elderly people. Seeing as most of them have onset dementia I don’t really get into arguments with them on China issues, as it’s a fool’s effort, but the anti-Chinese diatribes in the news have already caused the residents to not want me to come during the first waves of COVID and to not want me to cook Chinese food for them. These people read newspapers religiously and with these latest lies placating multiple pages I got told both today and yesterday that I don’t have to care for these specific residents anymore. I’m lucky in that this job isn’t a real job in that I don’t need it to stay afloat financially, but I still feel really conflicted. I should probably continue volunteering and just help other elders in this complex or other complexes, but I have decided that I won’t. Back during COVID, I was able to understand it somewhat that their xenophobia came from the fear of me transmitting COVID to them (because I interact with Chinese people and in their eyes would be more likely to be a carrier). Only this Monday I was literally showing and telling one of these residents, who used to be a farmer, about Chinese seawater rice and talking to them about the olden times and seeing their eyes light up to only be told today that they don’t want me to come anymore because I support that very same China. I should feel very bad about leaving the remaining residents I helped, but I’m planning on quitting in a week or 2/3 and from then on I won’t put another iota of my time and effort into improving Western society unless it also directly helps the people in the global South.

I’m just so tired.

EDIT: This is something I posted to get some catharsis, as I don’t really have anywhere else to post this without sounding unhinged. Feel free to downvote it.