63 points

Are you…are you fucking serious?

Jesus was literally all about that peace stuff. What fucking Bible is he reading from exactly?!

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48 points

This is Republican Jesus who hates brown people and loves rich people.

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20 points

The anti-christ according to republicans actually sounds like a pretty rad dude.

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18 points

Republican Anti-christ is eeriely similar to brown Jesus 🧐…

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22 points

Fundamentalists and Evangelicals try to interpret the book of Revelation “literally.” Most scholars think it was code-speak to give hope to contemporaries being oppressed by the Roman Empire, but these people think it’s prophecy that will be fulfilled at the apocalypse.

Revelation, as they read it, describes an anti-Christ figure, who is a Jewish man, who will unite the world under one government and broker peace for a short time before a period of unimaginable suffering and destruction. Conveniently, they read between the lines and have convinced themselves that “real Christians” will be swept away in the clouds and spared from all that suffering.

Jesus eventually ends up flying down on a white horse with all the real Christians and angels and skewers the anti-Christ, his followers, and non-Christians with swords that shoot out of his mouth and casts them into a bottomless pit.

I mean, it’s really wild stuff. And apparently it’s informing US policy. They want all of this to happen, but they just want to be on the “right” side of it. This pastor isn’t saying they shouldn’t try for peace - just that Christians should furrow their brows about it so God won’t leave them behind.

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8 points
*

Yeah, but the Hebrew god can’t defeat iron chariots, so we got this. Murica.

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13 points

His Jesus is “Do onto others as they would do onto you, except that fucker over there. Shoot him with a howitzer.”

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3 points

Damn, the person who did unto him that much pain, misery and hatred probably needs to be jailed for war crimes.

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13 points

MAGA pastors hate woke baby jesus. Also, they don’t pay taxes.

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6 points
*

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon

And every religious nutsack writes their own fanfiction of it, but Israel getting destroyed is usually the central part, so it kind of has to happen, or the “Second Coming of Christ” can not happen.

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5 points

Jesus is whatever the fuck these cunts want him to be, period.

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4 points

Book of Revelations mostly. Basically a fanfic about how Rome was going to get wiped out and Christianity would get all their swag. Jesus does not come off as a nice guy in it.

Disagree with your assessment of Jesus being all about peace stuff.

Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.

-Matthew 10:34

Also fun fact, if you note every time someone has a sword than from the Baptism to the Crucifixion someone is always armed in every scene that involves more than one person.

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2 points
*

Matthew 10:34

You misconstrue what is being said in this paragraph. He is saying to not expect the path of Jesus to be easy and conflict-free, and infact it will divide people and even cause conflicts.

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1 point

It isn’t about what I say it is about how his followers understand it and have understood it. You are trying to argue that it is advocating a stance of holding on to your integrity. Fine go ahead and argue that. That isn’t how it has been understood. It has been understood that it meant you are ordered to be violent to enforce his kingdom.

You know neurology has shown that the same part of the brain that is active when asked “what do you think of x” is the same part of the brain that is active when asked “what does your god think of x”? Just a fun little fact about that explains why everyone always has the “true” understanding.

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3 points

Supply Side Jesus strikes again.

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61 points

“Angry piece of shit bastard continues to be an angry piece of shit bastard.”

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2 points

Exactly, not news

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43 points
*

Someone should report him to the College of Pastors and Preachers, and get them to review his license to preach.

Just kidding. There are no qualifications, and there’s no regulatory body.

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43 points

Religious leader advocating for mass murder of innocent women and children so that his religion’s Armageddon can come to pass.

How is this not classified as a cult and squashed?

Also, does he really think that supporting genocide is buying him a ticket to heaven? Really?

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38 points
*

Right, someone who encourages neighbors to love each other like themselves will be the anti- Christ.

I’d kind of be curious to have some prominent ‘Christians’ rewrite the New Testament without being able to look anything up.

Just WTF do they think is actually in there?

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7 points

Genuinely? They believe that when peace happens there it is the final sign of the end times and the second coming is literally happening. And yes… It will be the work of the anti-christ because he is supposed to be some great world leader.

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3 points

It will be the work of the anti-christ because he is supposed to be some great world leader.

Which again really isn’t in there. The figure is mostly characterized as a religious figure.

In fact, the descriptions in 2 Thess 2 pretty accurately describes Paul himself (which was effectively narcissist projection), who literally was going around telling people not to listen to other versions of Jesus from the one he was telling them about, and there’s even a decent argument the version he’s combatting in Corinth was better tied to a historical a Jesus than the canonical one.

They’ve so heavily fanfictioned their own beliefs it’s become utter nonsense even relative to the source materials.

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3 points

You think he wrote 2 Thess? My understanding is that one is widely disputed. I am willing to hear you out.

I do agree, it seems like Paul was dealing with an alternative Jesus narrative, but the one I think he was fighting was a proto-gnostic one.

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2 points

Which is weird because it’s all the same religion

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0 points

Honestly, I think that’s meant to be a figure of speech.

Keep in mind that I am not religious, but I do have extensive knowledge of the bible, revelations comes of as either a fever dream or a really heated analogy.

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3 points

ngl, we just threw in a couple of chapter of Narnia into this thing and called it a day… - Bible Revisionists probably

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1 point

“Just say you believe that Jesus died for you and you get into heaven regardless of how you act or do”.

That’s the entire book.

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0 points

B-b-but Leviticus!

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