49

Panera has developed an assassination method so delicious that people keep assassinating themselves with it

posted
by
Avatar
betelgeuse [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
in
Avatar
chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
17 comments
hidereport

Yet the CIA can’t even make an effective heart attack gun. What is all that money for? You could have just made lemonade.

Sort:
HotTopControversialNewOld
Avatar
AntifaSuperWombat [she/her]@hexbear.net
19 points

If only they had this culinary technology when Castro was still alive.

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
18 points

Maybe the CIA is Panera. Their heart attack lemonade is working as it should.

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
18 points

Love to make lemonade with more caffeine than Jolt Cola

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.net
14 points

they’ve been reducing the caffeine content

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
14 points

Mankind was never meant to be that alert

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.net
13 points

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]@hexbear.net
7 points

Caffeine hand sanitizer is an interesting idea for a soda, I must say

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
Bobson_Dugnutt [he/him]@hexbear.net
21 points

permalink
report
reply
Avatar
hexaflexagonbear [he/him]@hexbear.net
23 points
*

There was this viral video of this very amped up lady talking about the insane amount of sugar and caffeine in this random panera lemonade drink that she was downing multiple of every day. Apparently multiple people have died due to that drink since. :wtf

permalink
report
parent
reply
Avatar
NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
5 points

permalink
report
reply

chapotraphouse

!chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

Create post

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don’t post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip

Community stats

  • 3K

    Monthly active users

  • 14K

    Posts

  • 177K

    Comments

Community moderators