I’ve applied for jobs a few times and this has always been a problem. Now that I’ve been out of college for a while it’s even more of a problem. I don’t have anyone from college that would even remember me. I can’t use my current coworkers because I don’t want my current employer to know I’m leaving until I have a new job lined up. I don’t keep in touch with old coworkers. I don’t do anything outside of work as far as volunteering or anything. I know I’m not supposed to use friends or family. Who is even left after that? The only people I have the contact info for are friends, family, and my current boss.
Maybe you are overestimating how big of a deal letting your current boss know that you are job searching really is. I’ve used a recruiting agency multiple times that requires references from two current supervisors. It always feels awkward making that ask, but it has never been the end of the world. If you are respectful and professional about it, they should be too. You can always find a way to downplay it or spin it if you need to.
That being said, of course there are petty and belligerent bosses out there. Just take a minute and consider whether that is truly the case for you or if this would just cause the normal level of awkwardness/friction that would be expected in this situation.
They won’t background check your references. I invented “Steve” as my manager and left his number. Turns out “Steve” was actually my boyfriend.
Why don’t you keep in touch with old coworkers that you get along with?
Look them up on LinkedIn and talk to them occasionally, not just when you need something. Just start doing that today.
Don’t try to use a lie because then you’ll have to cover it up another lie, and sooner or later you’re going to lose track.
Don’t know you, but you’re a tireless worker who goes as above and beyond. You’ve always been there when needed whether it was helping me understand that new online ordering stuff with COVID or just mowing my lawn when you were younger. I would definitely love to have someone like you as an employee. Send them my way
My man
Your new employer will be looking for references who can provide information and context around how you are to work with, how you have dealt with complexity and how you show initiative.
They will ideally want to understand how you work and how you behave.
You NEED someone you have worked with directly or who has managed you.
Highly suggest you find someone at your current workplace ideally someone at a more senior level to you. Or someone at same level that can vouch that you can rely on.
What is the worst case at your current place if they know you are interviewing?
Piggybacking off this, I wouldn’t just ask a direct manager whether he would vouch for you, I’d also ask for feedback on areas needing improvement too. You don’t have to go into your next job with that same blind spot. Imagine being in a job interview and when they ask you about your “weak areas” you can respond, “I talked with my previous supervisor about this exact issue!” For the last half decade I’ve made a habit of asking for corrective feedback and taking performance reviews seriously. It’s like the opposite of burning a bridge! My current and previous boss are happy to vouch for me!
