Not looking for pity. But if you are having an awful December holiday, you aren’t alone. This may be a chance to unload. I’ll start.
My apt was flooded with rain 4 days ago, at ground level. For 4 days, my studio apt, carpet has been soaking wet, footsteps squishing, like stepping in a puddle. Property management wont do anything, hope I can talk sense into them before the floorboards rot and cave in.
You? It’s OK, you’re not alone.
I missed Thanksgiving because my mom tried hiding her illness from us while we were out of state and she was home alone.
I only found out because my neighbor asked me why there was an ambulance at my house…
I don’t blame her or anything for the Thanksgiving. And because of all the amazing help from friends, neighbors, and family, I’ve never been more thankful in my life.
However, watching your mom inch so close to death and pass out in your car on the way to the hospital does something to you at 17. No matter how much support you get from others, you can’t shake the realization that you are completely and totally helpless.
For those wondering, my mom is doing much better! It was scary at the time, but with proper care and lots of IVs during her hospital stay, she pulled through.
Tl;dr: mom became deathly ill on Thanksgiving. She luckily made a nearly full recovery though.
Edit! Happy holidays to all you miserable and non-miserable fucks! :)
The bf has had a load of tests over the past fortnight as he has a mass on his lung, we get the results on the 27th
I don’t like Christmas anyway, and the fact that 5 years ago we were waiting again, over Christmas for my brothers cancer diagnosis, which turned out to be terminal…so it’s already a shitty time of year.
If I didn’t have my parents, me and the bloke would just stay at home, have poached eggs on toast and not bother with any of it…
I’m working all the way through all the holidays in a remote location in what ought to be the frozen north, but is now discomfortingly comfy.
My partner made a suicide attempt Monday night. We had been fighting, and ended up going to different rooms to cool down.
I came SO close to waking up the next morning, finding her in the living room, and realizing the last thing I had said to her was some stupid, petty comment.
We’re both ok physically. But honestly… Neither of us is doing great emotionally. I feel so powerless. I’ve been watching her mental health crumble for months, wracking my brain for anything I should do differently. Any possible way I can help. Instead I just make things worse at every turn. I can’t help but feel like drove the love of my life to suicide, and even now that her attempt failed I don’t know how I can be better.
She says it’s not my fault. She says a lot of things. But of course she doesn’t want me to blame myself right? She loves the absolute fuck out of me. I don’t know. I still can’t convince myself I’m not chiefly to blame.
I know the feeling of powerlessness. I used to think that it was a good feeling because I could finally not care. But after seeing someone close to me in so much pain, I realize it is never that simple.
Ultimately, the powerlessness feels like it’s crushing your soul.
I wish you the best and hope both you and your partner find a healthy way forward that makes you both happy.
Almost 20k in emergency expenses this month.
I don’t make that much money, this sucks.
