Michael Bloomberg spent $1 billion to run a distraction campaign, taking headlines from Bernie Sanders’ repeated wins in the early 2020 Democratic primary. Bloomberg spent $500M the first week to flood the internet with influencers and meme makers being absolutely distracted by the low torrent of low effort shit post memes about Bloomberg. It was so obviously an astroturf campaign built on fake sentiment that everyone forgot Bernie won 5 states in a row and was crushing Biden. By the end of the month, Elisabeth Warren also bowed out and took her progressive voters to Biden.

So for $500 Million you can ruin a grassroots campaign! Buy bad memes and pay influencers to distract people.

Buy citizenship out of the US and build a better country abroad with your foreign investment. Not much to do with the way things are going, but you can make Ireland or Monténégro a better place.

Donate to GOP’s campaign, so they win next presidential election. This will effectively change current political situation

Nuke the entire landmass. Enjoy not having to worry about what stupid shit the US political dumpster fire will regurgitate and manipulate this week. Be loved by almost every country on the planet for doing it. Gals and guys alike will be tripping over each other to suck you. Police stop being penis-waving fucks and start obeying the law, NK shits themselves and rejoins SK, Putin has a heart attack, and everyone starts buying electric cars because you threaten to do it again if not. World peace out of sheer terror. Rainbows and unicorns spawn randomly. And as a gargantuan meteor is about to crash into earth and kill all remaining sentient life, you are deemed the one true god.

Hello fbi, late today aren’t you?

(just let me know before you do this, I have some things I need to pack first)

Edit: basically End of Ze World but updated a bit

Ads on every billboard everywhere.