80 points
*

Need the opposite costume, the overly eager sys admin.

  • wants to force password changes once a month for security
  • constantly changing security policies to reflect the flavor of the month
  • constantly sends out phishing emails tests, wonders why no one replies to any of his emails
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19 points

My fucking uni is trying to move to passwordless, but you will always need a password to log onto any lab device, and to the wifi, so why?

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8 points

I mean you don’t actually need a password for that when it’s implemented the right way

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16 points
*

…implemented the right way

see

…you will always need a password

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17 points
*

A website once complained my password contained 3 consecutive letters there were 1 away from each other. This was back when I used sentences for passwords. It was complaining about the word worst because of r-s-t.

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11 points

That’s wack. Passphrases are second only to random passwords generated by a password generator in terms of security, character proximity doesn’t matter with that much length.

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2 points

Jesus fuck

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10 points

Then they have you make it some 12 character length minimum string with mixed case and special characters and dictionary lookup so it isn’t some common phrase but you’re also logging in through a telnet instance onto a Unix system.

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8 points

As someone in the InfoSec field, I also hate those people.

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5 points
*

Sysadmin: “A clear indication of phishing email is the sense of urgency. We would never send out any email regarding urgent updates that needs immediate action.”

Also sysadmin: “URGENT!!! You must update your system now before Friday!!! Click link here for instructions! Otherwise you will be locked out!”

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3 points

Spot on. We’re changing XYZ policy and we need everyone to do this training within the week. Wait, why’s no one opening my emails

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1 point

Then do this to computer-shaped instrument controller systems that have accounts that can not have passwords changed or the application won’t run. Or service accounts, so if you pop in after 6 months, nobody knows the current password and the IT guy only comes in 2 hours/week. And that was yesterday. And no, no contact information present…

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58 points
  • Installs antivirus on servers that wrecks application performance
  • installs content filtering proxy that prevents developers from reading “hacking materials” like OWASP documentation
  • won’t let developers install anything on their own machines without filing a ticket and waiting 6 weeks
  • pushes unannounced antivirus updates that pop up OS security dialogs like “Netscan Antivirus would like to monitor all network traffic. Enter your password to approve”, and is surprised when users don’t enter their passwords.

Your corporate IT guy

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10 points

We might work at the same company lmao. My laptop is borderline unusable due to all the monitoring garbage despite having really fast hardware

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9 points

Sigh. Their hearts are in the right places…

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1 point

They usually don’t have a choice. They know this stuff is bad, but they need it to demonstrate compliance with XYZ framework so they can fill out the marketing copy so sales can land a contract with some big customer that wants to know why $competitor has better security than you.

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52 points

Password expiration is no longer considered a best practice. FYI.

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18 points
Deleted by creator
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13 points
*

I got to step 20, where my password suddenly caught on fire and Paul died.

My day is ruined.

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3 points
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expired

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0 points
Deleted by creator
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1 point
*

expired

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11 points

Yes, that’s true, and hasn’t been considered so for a long time

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2 points

Oh really? How come?

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9 points
*

NIST removed password expiration from their recommendations in 2020. Instead they recommend only forcing password changes when compromise is suspected.

The main argument is that they do not make users or systems demonstrably safer and encourage bad password habits.

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6 points

I would imagine most users change their password by only 1 character, and maybe even in sequential order.

When time comes to change the password, it becomes password1234 instead of password123. Or password234. Something easy to remember, most users don’t care about best security practices, and changing to a similar password is very convenient. Especially if it’s “only” for work stuff

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2 points

The original idea was that you would take how long it took to brute-force a password, then require the password be changed before that. But we have better hashing now, like bcrypt, where you can tune it so that brute forcing anything would take 100s of years.

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2 points
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It was never best practices for anyone who had common sense.

It just forced people to make insecure, easy to remember passwords, cause they were gonna be changed in again soon so why make it complicated and hard to remember.

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2 points

I know I do this. Add another exclamation mark.

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1 point

Psh… That’s amateur, I just keep incrementing the number at the end ‘password1’, ‘password2’, etc. Gotta fool the password reuse counter!

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2 points

why so?

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3 points

Encourages users to just add a rotating number or other not too secure thing to their password. I know that’s what I did when I worked somewhere with that dumbfuck policy.

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6 points

Yep. My least secure password is the one I use at work because I’m restricted to 9-12 characters, can’t be sequential forwards or backwards including keys next to each other (abc, 123, qwerty), can’t begin with a number, must contain at least three numbers, must be at least four characters different from your last twelve passwords, and must be changed every 90 days. Oh and it can’t include your first or last name.

Most of my coworkers just use a family members name and then change a few numbers at the end and keep a post it note at their desk with the numbers so they don’t forget it.

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45 points

“What do you mean this password is too short? I use it for everything!”

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10 points

“how many times do i have to tell you that your name + your birthday date js not a good password!”

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5 points

Needs a special character?

Password123!

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38 points

Even worse is the CEO.

He needs access to everything and he’s far too important to waste time with security.

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11 points

This is the reason why those scams are so successful:

“Hi this is the CEO, wire $10000 to this account right now, we need it there yesterday. I don’t have time to talk, just do it. Bye”

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