My wife and I are 31, no kids yet. We moved from a major city back to our home state and are struggling to make friends here.
We keep an eye on meetup postings and Facebook events, stuff like that, no luck. We went to a local board game night and it was all elderly people. Nothing wrong with that but not exactly what we’re looking for.
Where we lived before we attended a church we liked and met people there, but churches in our area are a lot different/more political than we’re used to.
I guess eventually we’ll have kids and meet other parents, but how do we make friends now at this stage in our lives?
Maybe try attending a volunteer or town social event. A library might have info or postings for things going on. See if there are ways to help set up and/or get involved.
There are 5 problems with this question:
Dating and marriage requires a “double coincidence of wants” where both you and your wife want to commit. (This is the whole reason that we stopped bartering because barting requires this for every transaction, and it sucks)
Your problem has a requirement of a quadruple councidence of wants: you, your wife, your friend, and your friend’s partner need to commit. That is 4 problems.
Additionally you are over age 30. Once you pass that age, people are generally of the attitude of “relationship maintenance”. So new friends are considered costly investments that have ongoing costs. (New Friends are neighbors or friends of your children/hobbies)
Here is a joke: why did Julius Caesar get stabbed? Because he thought he could have a friend after age 30.
Here is another joke:what miracle did Jesus perform that cannot be replicated? He made 12 sincere lifelong friends after the age of 30.
Loneliness is a contributor to early death and there are tonnes of products that want you to buy to alieve. Good luck!
This might seem crazy, but climbing/bouldering. I started a few months ago and I can’t stop meeting new people at 34. If you’re even peripherally social you’re bound to make friends.
Not seen anyone say this yet, but last year my partner and I were in a similar boat. Bumble (the dating app) has a “BFF” mode for making friends. It’s worked out amazingly for us and we now have a great group.
It can take a bit of persistence, and like dating, some won’t work out. But it’s a great way to meet potential friends, and even in relatively small cities you’ll find some people on there.
All our friends are from kink communities lol.
