For me: I had a moment today where all I could think about was that meme which went around a few years ago that was along the lines of …
You wake up. You’re still a lizard sunning on a red rock. It was all a dream. The concept of selling feet pics to pay back student loans is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisten them. Time to eat a bug.
I’ve been thinking of quitting my current job.
It’s got good working conditions, but a lot of the people I work with are so massively incompetent and don’t give a shit that it makes working here miserable.
The holidays just made me realize how utterly miserable I am. So I’ve updated my resume and I’ve started applying somewhere else.
I come in today, and there’s like a hundred fires and everyone’s running around like headless chickens.
I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here.
I don’t really do New Years Resolutions, but holy shit my goal for 2024 is to get a new job.
/rant
Sounds like good cultural or social working conditions with people who generally get along. This plus leadership who don’t want to upset the so-called flow or hurt someone’s feelings = Many small issues that escalate and essentially merge into a larger fire. Sprinkle in a few people with the knowledge to fix things, and who were told more than once to not step over some imaginary line, and you have the sideliners facepalming while casually scrolling LinkedIn and Indeed in their spare time on the company’s toilet.
Most good teams can run themselves 95% of the time. The last 5% is where decisions requiring someone senior comes in. Senior being unfortunately some manager or exec that happens to have a stronger title.
BUT, in fairness, there are also many excellent managers and executives. We just don’t often hear about them.
You’ve basically nailed it for the most part, yeah (down to the LinkedIn/Indeed scrolling on my spare time).
Like, I get great working conditions. I don’t hate the job itself. The people I work with just make my life absolutely miserable. Doesn’t help that the business has the “more years of experience = more qualified for leadership” mentality, and half the people above me are completely clueless about the most basic shit needed for work.
I genuinely think I’d stick around if it wasn’t for the people in my team, but management seems determined to keep me with the current one, no matter how many times I ask. Their desire to keep on that team is the thing that’s making me leave.
The Peter Priciple is a nefarious little middle and upper management goblin. While I don’t expect bosses to have all the answers, I do expect them to be competent in basic leadership and promoting a strong team work structure. The easiest way to do this is by building cohesion through a team that self-sustains and works through issues without necessarily bringing in a manager, and through strong compensation - not just in salary, at all levels.
Your values aren’t being met and your leadership team has eroded your trust in them. Even from this short interaction I can tell what at least two of those values are. So there’s no way I could blame you for wanting to move on. Here’s hoping you land somewhere awesome when the time comes!
Holidays are exhausting in itself
Yeah, I feel barely any better than before I left. And this year was a chiller one.
I meant the holiday season was relatively relaxing compared to previous years.
Holidays and weekends for me now I have kids are way more exhausting than work. More enjoyable, but jesus fuck I dont get a break. At least at work the expectations on me are clear and I get to take breaks where nobody bothers me.
The last meeting I had before my break was with an aggressively toxic team. It left me stressed through the holidays.
My boyfriend had to work Christmas and New Years which left me alone a lot of my time off.
Today I was supposed to go back to work and I just couldn’t. I called in sick and had a mini-breakdown with my boyfriend.
Something needs to change for me but I’m not sure what. My stress levels are unmanageable. I keep feeling like I’m putting off living a happy, healthy, life until I can retire.
Something needs to change for me but I’m not sure what. My stress levels are unmanageable. I keep feeling like I’m putting off living a happy, healthy, life until I can retire.
The tragedy is, this is not abnormal anymore. Especially not in the U.S.
True. And I recognize that I have a lot more to be grateful for than most. Today just hit me a lot harder than usual.
You absolutely deserve to feel that way no matter your gratitude. I was not trying to criticize you and I’m sorry if I came off that way. It’s a tragedy because a lot of people are pretty entitled to feel like that. Including plenty of people who used to be considered middle class.
Easier said than done, but what needs to change is your job, or so it seems. Everybody doesn’t need to love their job, but hating what you do 8+ hours a day is a sure path to a misarable existence. I’m also not overjoyed to be back to work, but I’m fine with it, and it always gets better after a few days, as I catch the flow again.
Btw also make sure your health is fine, I had a friend who couldn’t get out of bed some days, and turns out she had an undiagnosed medical issue, and now got better with medication.
Edit: also, I’m a leader with an international career, so if you have some general “corporate-y” questions I’m happy to give some unbiased steering.
Thank you for the suggestions. I agree, and so does my boyfriend, that my job ultimately needs to change.
I’m in a weird state with my things because I’m one of those software engineers who has been pushed into management because it turns out I’m good at managing. And the product we are trying to launch is something I’m passionate about. I’m also fairly well compensated. On paper this should be a great situation.
But I am constantly having to deal with a chaotic, but well-meaning, person at the top, and other teams with extreme political agendas that make even talking with them nothing but stress. I had three bystanders in the meeting I mentioned reach out and apologize to me for not standing up to the “ambush” (one of their words, but appropriate).
And the biggest issue for me is the compensation and management side of things. I have no idea how to get hired as a manager because I spent all of my interviews in the past as a software engineer. And my software engineer skills have basically disappeared over the last 4+ years of managing.
So I expect that any exit from here would be accompanied by a significant pay cut. The big names in my field all have had mass layoffs, as have tangential fields that I’m qualified for.
I also have a mortgage on a condo that I love. I bought it months before the pandemic hit and unfortunately it’s in a neighborhood hit particularly hard by tech flight. Coupled with bad interest rates, I’d be lucky to be able to sell for hundreds of thousand less than I paid for my place. And then wouldn’t be able to afford a new one with today’s rates.
So I keep pushing forward to my next stock grant despite the stress without an exit strategy. I have golden handcuffs on.
My current thought is to struggle through a couple more years, saving up as much as possible, and quitting to start my own indie games studio. Not the smartest of financial choices but it would at least be a path that let’s me pursue passion projects, re-up my technical skills, and wouldn’t be too terrible on my resume.
And the biggest issue for me is the compensation and management side of things. I have no idea how to get hired as a manager because I spent all of my interviews in the past as a software engineer. And my software engineer skills have basically disappeared over the last 4+ years of managing.
Honestly, you should just apply for the position and see if you get through the interview (you don’t need to quit your current job before accepting interviews). A few of my friends at work basically went from software developers into management. A lot of places actually look for ex-devs for their management because the experience carries over.
I’m in a similar position right now where the dev team I’m working in is making me absolutely miserable, and I just brushed-up the resume and started looking for another job.
Hope you pull through! Toxic teams really suck!
Absolutely quit that job. It’s not worth the damage it’s causing to you. If you can’t just up and leave, spend your downtime and free time on the hunt and just bounce when you get a new gig.
Your happiness has value, and if this company isn’t contributing to that value, they’re not giving you enough.
You couldn’t go and spend time with your mates on New Year’s Eve at least? Surely it’s just a case of joining a party?
It was a consideration, but my friends all went to a dance party where they did a bunch of molly and had fun sexual adventures. I’m in recovery so it would have been not the safest night for me to join.
My boyfriend made an effort and got home just before midnight so we could spend it watching fireworks on the roof of my building. That part was lovely but the rest of the day was a bit lonely.
Depends on the job. I’ve had some jobs where I always felt like a slave and lost the will to live. And finally after years of shit jobs after shit jobs, I got this current job. It is a drop from heavens and I’ll never let it go until I retire.
Anything you like. Shovel shit, make excel sheets, jerk off horses, kill people. Doesn’t matter. Whatever floods dopamine into your head while lowering cortisol. Hopefully it’s not that latter.