I’m surprised no one has said Terraria yet. It’s like a lil bit of everything on your list. You can go hardcore and try and beat all the bosses while powering up and mining, or you can take it easy and have fun with the building mechanics. There’s an rpg aspect with it too by trying to find the NPCs. Great for lanning. I had many hours wasted with my roommates and my girlfriend/now wife back in the day. They’ve since added a lot more stuff so I might have to fire it up when my kids are old enough to play.

Phogs is a cute co-op game where you a control a double ended dog (Think Cat-Dog but it’s a double dog) to solve puzzles through themed worlds (food, sleep, and playing, a puppy’s favorite activities). It’s only 2 player though so I’m not sure if that’s what you’re looking for.

Tabletop sim might work, depending on attitudes towards tabletop games

Raft?

You can run the boat, your wife tends to the crops and animals, your kid gets eaten by the shark trying to loot an island.

Win for all.

Give Trine 2 a shot. It’s three players, is very easy on the eyes, and is good for keeping stress relatively low. Since all three of you like games, playing games isn’t unnatural for you, but playing together is something that can potentially cause some stress between you. A game like Trine keeps that fairly low and is a good entry point that once you done with it, hopefully the experience was positive and you can move on to some other things together.