Otherwise known as: “That day the US government allowed a bunch of chuds into the capitol building for some dumb reason, I dunno, probably to justify increased security or something.”

Leave out your bullets and black rifle coffee for QAnon Santa tonight!

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26 points

QAnon Santa gets zipties and a hot dog instead of bullets in this household.

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37 points

What would have happened if they were more successful in occupying the building? I think they could hold out for a day or two if Trump publicly supported them and withheld any forces from violently removing them from the building. Then there would be a shit show on the news as the congress in exile would be fighting over whether to impeach in order to fix it. Papa John’s would prolong the occupation by feeding the occupiers. All the news stations would have 24/7 Situation Room style live reporting. The protestors would slowly get bored of it and leave in a trickle until only the diehards are left. At that point Trump realizes it makes them look stupid, so he quietly allows the special forces to remove them, but without any harm. There would be footage of them heroically exiting the building. They would be in Fox News and Fucker Carlson interviews for the rest of their lives and retire comfortably.

But on the whole, nothing would actually change

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33 points

I think s letting them in was really the best case scenario for them. Even then, all they could do was some pointless shit like putting their feet on Pelosi’s desk.

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January 6th revealed a terminal naïveté of US civil society that we can ordinarily only speculate about. The absolute child’s understanding required to believe power works like a game of Duck Duck Goose. You have the CHUDs, ultrapatriotic nerds with constitution wallpapers in their living rooms marching into the Capitol to wrestle power back from the ‘deep state cabal’ only to discover it is just a fucking building. Then you have their mirror image in the Liberals. Multitudes who agree with the premise that they’re playing a game of Duck Duck Goose and that they almost lost. A deep rooted naïveté, not just among Internet cranks, but among high echelons of the punditry.

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6 points
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It’s true and kinda gives me hope during an eventual conflict scenario with chuds. Like think about the GWOT, Jan 6, hell even these new wars. American high command DO NOT HAVE A PLAN. They just don’t, they enter conflicts with the absolute bare minimum of information and intelligence and then try to take institutions of power. I really think that mentality has trickled down into the general population and they think that’s how wars are won. But the thing is America hasn’t won a war since WW2.

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4 points

And, it goes without saying, but to say “America won WW2” is pretty charitable. Like, it’s basically a participation award.

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3 points

The social organism has no idea it’s a social organism.

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26 points

Papa John’s would prolong the occupation by feeding the occupiers.

I forgot about that

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I imagine they would have got bored and left eventually.

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5 points

Republican Senate decides President if pence left the building.

You know, standard sandbox rules every American can understand.

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27 points

Stand back and stand by

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27 points
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I had pretty much entirely quit the internet for about a full year leading up to Jan 6th but I had to make a new account here when it happened because I knew it would be the only place online that understood how fucking funny it all was. I still barely use the internet, but it seems like this is still the only place that accurately sees the day for what it was. Like come on a raging hog tased himself in the balls TO DEATH and the libs still can’t laugh at that shit.

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3 points

I wish the “tasing himself in the balls to death” story was true because it’s funny as hell, but unfortunately it’s not.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death/

Still funny that chuds are so out of shape they die from just fucking standing there.

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22 points

The 12th day of Christmas 😌

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