90 points
*

Hell, I wouldn’t tell it here as well. It’s going to the grave with me.

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28 points

But maybe you could explain the secret of your username? Is it unicode for the chinese word “乏” which means poor/tired? Is it some magic number or boot signature? I need to know!!

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29 points

No.

It’s just NO in hex… sorry the mystery isn’t deeper.

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6 points

Oh right… I went into full conspiracy mode when it should have been pretty obvious. (Or maybe you just want us to believe that…)

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15 points

You farted on a babies face and made it cry, didn’t you?

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14 points
*

To be fair, the baby would’ve cried even if they didn’t do that.

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6 points

No. He posted that on TikTok.

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1 point

While at a funeral.

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3 points

Same. Nothing super earth shattering, but sometimes it’s good to let sleeping dogs lay asleep.

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2 points

Exactly… some things are better left unsaid.

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1 point

I actually don’t have secrets. All the worst stuff I have ever done, the most important people in my life know about. They don’t know I’m seriously in CNC, but that’s not because I wouldn’t tell them. But because they wouldn’t want to know.

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2 points

Yeah, that might fly with friends, try your family or your wife.

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1 point

Well my wife did it with me (as does my girlfriend now). But I wouldn’t tell my family because they don’t care.

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65 points

Ha, I’m not falling for this one a third time.

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63 points

I killed a circus clown in a Wendy’s parking lot in 1996.

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57 points

Do I just upvote this post if my answer is the same?

Asking for a friend.

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12 points

I generally disagree with murder, but I’m terrified of clowns, so I’m super conflicted about this.

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7 points

That is quite specific

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7 points

Thats odd. I once found a dead circus clown in a Wendy’s parking lot in 1996. I fucked the body.

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10 points

You know, one time I also found a deceased man in clownish makeup in a Wendy’s parking lot in '96. Had his pants down. The strangest thing.

I had the strongest need to urinate, and I inexplicably pissed all over this dead clown.

I think about it constantly.

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7 points

That was YOU?

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4 points

Schlatt?

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2 points

That shouldn’t be a crime given how evil clowns are.

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62 points

Nice try FBI

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7 points

Not today, CIA

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5 points

Nothing to see here, NSA

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41 points

Unfortunelately I will not tell that to strangers on the internet either

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