It is now state personnel policy that, for the purposes of visibility, hair can be counted as visibility headwear so long as it is the correct color of bright orange.

I dyed my hair traffic cone orange one summer and asked if I still had to wear my hat. My boss was amused and asked his boss. His boss was also amused and asked his boss. On and on and on until a memo was issued signed by the director of the entire agency saying that no, anyone with traffic cone orange hair did not have to wear a hat.

My trigonometry teacher in high school had an extra credit corner. There were daily math puzzles and similar ways to get a couple of points here or there. I figured out that even if killed the rest of the term, I would finish with a low B. With the daily puzzles I could maybe bring my grade up to a more solid B, but an A was out of reach. Then I realized that one option was to bring in a cutout of a cartoon that had something to do with math. He was talking about cartoons from the newspaper, but this was in the 90s when digital media was starting to be a thing. I did a Yahoo! search for math cartoons and printed out hundreds of them. I printed anything that was even tangentially related and brought in a stack of papers an inch thick on the last day of class. It was enough. I got the grade by the slimiest of margins and the next year the extra credit corner had a 2-cartoon limit.

I got too comfortable at work and would walk around barefoot. The place was really clean. One morning a manager noticed and got weirded out. Next day there was a company wide announcement that shoes were required at all times.

I used the good old toaster in our closed department one morning just like always. But that morning my toast caught fire!

My coworker put it out but the smell of burning toast permeating the entire floor of the building. Where the public walks around.

Of course I hear “is something burning?” “Mommy I smell toast!” Etc.

We pretended it didn’t happen when security came around. “What? I smell it too! That’s so weird!”

Needless to say toasters were banned after that. We ended up getting a small toaster oven that’s better quality. Probably still not allowed but we like to live on the edge.

We were not allowed to play kickball at daycare because I accidentally broke the teacher’s face. We only had a soccer ball to play with & I kicked it right back at her head.

Then we got a rubber ball a month or so later & kickball was back on. For all of 20 minutes…

I kicked the ball over the fence & hit a moving car, almost causing an accident.

No more kickball again.