170 points

*Football team that’s been a dominant presence in the league for the last several seasons wins AFC Championship again and will be returning to the Super Bowl*

Conservatives: TAYLOR SWIFT DID THIS TO GET JOE BIDEN REELECTED!!!1!!

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98 points

Plus Taylor Swift who has been immensely popular for like…What, over a decade now? Only now suddenly wielding her influence to run the government or something? Please, she’s rich, popular, and in business, she basically operates as her own independent nation without needing to run anyone else’s. 😂

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74 points

She turns 35 just before the next president takes office, meaning this is the first election she could legally become president. Coincidence???

Absolutely a coincidence. This is all a marketing stunt, but the conspiracies have been fun to read.

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3 points

She will be 35 in December and could be elected president in 2024.

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39 points
*

She’s also been doing get out the vote/voter registration campaigns since at least 2018. She has officially endorsed multiple Democrats in the past, including Biden in the general election in 2020. None of this is new or a secret. Conservatives think they have uncovered some grand plot though. Like Taylor Swift needs the NFL and she wouldn’t have any publicity or influence without it. If anything it’s probably the opposite, with NFL trying to use Taylor Swift to boost their own popularity more.

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16 points

I heard NPR say that she’s brought in roughly $300 million to the NFL because so many more women are now watching

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3 points

Seriously. There is a conspiracy here, and it’s to get the Chief’s to win. /s. Probably. Not really. Yes I’m bitter.

All joking aside I miss when we could have “low stake” conspiracy theories. Now we have genuine flat earthers and the like, it’s only a matter of time before someone weaponizes the “birds aren’t real” meme. I swear god people will look back at pizzagate as the definitive marker where the world forgot 4chan was primarily a joke.

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9 points

Well she did dare to encourage her fans to vote! And that’s obviously anti-democratic or something.

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21 points

She’s obviously a witch /s

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25 points

She turned me into a newt.

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6 points

… It got better.

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12 points

they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one

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123 points

These people are unhinged.

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22 points

🌍👨‍🚀🔫🧑🏻‍🚀always have been.

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20 points

They need to calm down.

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2 points

Well done.

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19 points

i feel like society as a whole would improve greatly if they just, you know, didn’t exist. it’s almost as if we stand on the verge of a complete global catastrophe and the only way to resolve it is to get rid of them all. entirely.

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5 points

The situation should resolve itself soon, the Earth will survive climate change.

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7 points

what about all the animals?

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120 points

It bothers me so much to know how stupid I am and also know there are so many people even stupider than me.

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48 points
*

Think for a moment how stupid the average person is…Then realise that half the population is dumber than that. - George Carlin

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16 points

The problem is that most people overestimate the average person too.

So it’s more like “imagine the average person, and realize around 70% of the population is dumber than that.”

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8 points
*

*median, but we’ll let it slide, George

It kind of plays into the joke anyway

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-1 points

What’s the difference when talking about people rather than a metric?

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4 points

My favorite quote of all time.

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8 points

Yeah. I’m dumb. I’m also in the top percentile of intelligence. No bueno.

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14 points

I mean you can’t be that dumb. You speak French.

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2 points

Tushy!

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81 points
*

“Everything I don’t like is woke, or a psyop, or SJW, or liberal, or socialist, or…”

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23 points

Communist is a classic

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12 points

Or we could go Victorian and use Anarchist

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6 points

Might ancient Greek Cynics be the original recipe?

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68 points

WTF? She probably has more fans than the NFL and these morons think she’s getting signal boosted?

Obviously this is a psyop to boost awareness that the Chiefs exist.

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35 points

Are…are they trying to start something with the Swifties? Because I’m pretty sure Y’all-Quaeda is no match for them, and I’m here for it!

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15 points
*

if there’s any side likely to win a civil war in the US its the swifties. If she told her fans to get guns they would.

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7 points

If she told all her fans to get open carry permits and assault rifles the GOP would all rally behind smart gun control laws and try to raise the minimum age to thwart her.

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