There seems to be an idea that your first time having sex is supposed to be a magical, life changing experience. It can certainly be daunting for people who don’t really know what to expect. How did your first time go? Was it as magical an experience as you hoped? Was it hilariously awkward as you tried to maneuver your body around someone else’s? Or we’re you left wondering what all the hype around sex was about?
My first time was in college, with the woman who is now my wife! The first time we fooled around was shortly after we met, we were back in my apartment and she offered me a blowjob which I happily accepted. While it felt really good at first, I started feeling some pain after a few minutes. Turns out that, through a combination of my foreskin not being able to fully stretch around my head at the time, and it being her first time around a penis with a foreskin, mine had torn just a little bit. While it was nothing severe medically, it was definitely enough to keep me from cumming. I offered to go down on her, but that was the end of that hookup.
Our first time having PiV sex was about a month later, my roommates and I put on a little thanksgiving dinner that I had invited her to. We were planning on going to a show on campus after dinner, and so I walked with her back to her apartment for her to grab something before we went to the show. We got to her room, and she just looked at me and said “want to have sex?”. Of course the answer was a resounding yes. It was definitely a little awkward to figure out positioning but we settled into missionary, and I just told her I’ll take it slow and she could tell me if she wanted a change in speed or anything. After a few minutes she said that it was getting uncomfortable so we called it there with neither of us finishing, but both of us excited to keep practicing at a later time.
Had been watching so much porn since 14, I basically knew everything to do; without it turning into some wild bullshit. Told her I was a virgin, went down on her, ate her out like nobody’s business, then hopped on top and had my fun. It was magical, and life changing.
Next day, she broke up with me. Saying I lied about being a virgin, that there was no fucking way in hell I was given how enthusiastic I was, and knowing what I was doing.
I legit had to convince her I was just a REALLY big pervert.
Imagining the conversation:
You’re to go good eating me out. It’s over!
Aome people have issues…
It was fun, but has definitely been almost exclusively better since. I distinctly remember being alarmed at how warm it was to be inside her, I had not expected that at all. I mean, I’d fingered her and stuff, but never felt anything like that on my penis.
It was a lot of fun, not awkward at all. I did wind up bleeding, which I did not expect given I had a dick at the time. Didn’t stop us from going again the next day though.
Played hooky to finally get after it (weeks and weeks of allllmosts with the gf), somehow made it past the awkward without a scratch and more than a few shared giggles & good spirits. I was on top of the world, doing everything I could to hold out until she came, but then I thought I heard her voice change a little?
I opened my eyes to see that she was looking right up at me (missionary, don’t judge) with a finger pressed against her lips and eyes wide, tense.
Then I heard the moan again. A woman’s noise —and then a manly grunt.
My mom was upstairs (not at work?! how? why -oh.) with her boyfriend. Fucking. Right above us. The rooms’ floor plans were pretty much the same, beds angled the same direction, headboards against the same wall, maybe even fucking in the same position. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuck. 😶
I have no idea how we escaped without notice that late morning, but the unstoppable hormone engines in both the gf & I at that age were burying the needle at all hours, at the helm of every decision both major and minor at all times — and would not let that stupidly improbable scene deter us.
We found every. single. opportunity. we could to shuck clothes and devour each other at a moment’s notice. Behind the portables, on the art tables after most electives were done for the day, up in the botany greenhouse balcony, in her car during her “smoke” break at work, in her friend’s parents’ master bath during a family dinner, etc. 🤷🏼♂️
I guess the lesson is: don’t let the expectation of “magic” discolor your IRL experience of it, and always keep your sense of humor intact. Resounding, ardent interest will always win out over self-doubt & cyclical worry. Have fun, be safe, and check in with your partner. 🥰
