I am currently in a social event and I am too exhausted to have conversations, so I figured I just pretend I’m busy texting by writing this post. I have to stay here for at least two more hours and I have two more (social) things to do tomorrow… one of them I’ll probably cancel because it is just too much but I did not think of an excuse yet… I feel dishonest and I really hate it, but I also didn’t have really good experiences coming out as autistic… it has never felt accomodating and often pretty invalidating. My depression has been hitting harder than usual, which is extra hard because I have to pretend I am okay just to avoid interactions I can’t handle right now. So anywhere I’m not even trying to make a point here I just need something to keep be busy and not make me look weird. Anyways, wish me luck idk, I’m really not enjoying life a lot rn :I
Edit: thanks a lot everyone! I read the replies several times, it has been reassuring and as a plus it kept me busy yesterday. :)
Sometimes its best to simply say “Sorry I can’t make it” and offer no reason or excuse. If someone asks why you can say its for a personal reason which is not a lie.
I’ve done this countless times already… it sucks the most when I cancel things I genuinely like but I can’t plan my social battery very well so I end up being really unreliable
I am not autistic (I don’t think, anyway), but have a host of other issues. I have the same reaction as you to social situations, and the suck of having to cancel things I enjoy because I just can’t do more social at the moment. And the guilt of being unreliable because of it all. It took me a very long time to get up the nerve to do this, but if the above involves people I know well -in my case, usually coworkers - I am just super blunt and up front with them. "I am not feeling great / I’m not up to this, I’m sorry I won’t be joining you / I’m going to head home now ". etc. I’ve done it long enough now that they are used to it, and they can see that when I am up to it, I do whatever it is I need to do. I just got sick of finding excuses when I was pretty sure they all knew it was bullshit anyway. It’s had some positive results for me, too, in that they stopped asking me to do some things because they knew I was probably going to be burned out by then and nope right out of it later.
I know im a bit late to the party… sorry bad joke, but i hope your feeling better. Being at social gatherigs is taxing as fuck and that with depression is not a good combo. Take care of yourself!
My go to, “Stomach Problems”. It’s slightly embarrassing, but ain’t no one gonna ask a follow-up question. Bonus believability if you order some sushi or otherwise dodgy food.
I just got an urgent call from the puppy you’re dog sitting. They need to go for a walk and they say you left the oven on or the fridge door open or something. Well, shucks, I guess you’ll have to head home now.
haha thanks! I agreed to help out with a few things in a local cultural event and I’d feel really rude to leave now… But exit strategies are kind of a science in itself. it usually has to be something urgent enough that you can’t say good bye to everyone, yet not urgent enough for people to ask follow up question. Tonight it’ll certainly be the “oh uber is coming I gotta hurry!”
