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I hate to say it but yes, your mom sounds like she’s gotten a bit too attached to this guy. Sounds like a common online scammer. Has she given him any money? Let me guess, he’s probably told her he just needs a little bit of money for a plane ticket and they can be together
No no no, nothing like that. He is not asking for anything himself. My mother has sent him a couple of times a few dozen dollars supposedly of her own free will, which he didn’t ask for, and he is said to be very grateful for them. He even sends her proof of purchases of what he buys with that money comparing prices and choosing the cheapest products (because the country he lives in is poor).
Until you said he sent her proof of purchase, etc, i was on the side of ‘maybe not a scammer,’ but once you said that, the alarm bells started ringing again.
Dont trust this person. His story is likely fabricated and tailored to pull at your mums heart strings. He is manipulating her. What you need is picture evidence of who this person is. Or better a video call. That will prove he is at least who he has described himself as.
I’m curious, she states that she has argued with him in the past and that it would’ve revealed the kind of person he is.
What have they argued about in the past? I would almost say that having argued with someone multiple times that you don’t even live with is a red flag for happening at all, instead of a green flag that he’s not a bad person. I’m curious if the context of their argument would make more or less sense.
Are you seriously saying that people dont argue over the internet? Is this your first day?
I don’t mean random opinionated internet comment arguments. If I think about online acquaintances that I actually message privately, like Discord, then I don’t argue with any of those people ever. The people I actually privately want to know and have added as friends, anybody who id even come close to calling, for instance, “brother”, I don’t argue with any of those people.
Random dude on a message board who has awful takes, of course, but I don’t add that guy and send him money or consider letting him move into my house.
I mean sure, if you talk about common interests with people youre less likely to argue, but if you build actual relationships and communicate a lot, arguments are bound to happen. Not arguing with people you are actually close with seems unnatural, whether on the internet or in person.
I wouldn’t feel safe sleeping in a room with a random internet stranger my mom met over the internet. In fact, I wouldn’t really feel safe sleeping in the same room as people I’ve met while playing internet games and I’ve met some cool people. People can easily fake an internet persona over long periods of time. I don’t feel like this is empathy problem on your part. Trust takes time to build and it’s not something that can really be done over the internet if your entire history with the person is based purely on online interactions.
Not mad but possibly premature. In fact, you probably don’t have anything to worry about, the odds aren’t great. There is a reason most authoritarian places have communication restricted.
