When texting people in general I find it frustrating that people don’t seem to view it as a conversation. If someone texts me and I catch it and text back right away, I get frustrated when people don’t return the favor. They might text back 5, 10, minutes or an hour or more later. Why did you text me if you didn’t want to have a conversation? Why am I the one sitting here waiting for a response?
It’s like someone sitting down across from at a table and asking you “Hey, how ya doin?” You respond “Great! what’s up?” and they just sit there for 10 minutes not saying anything.
Might be the whisper of ASD in my ADHD contributing to not understanding how this social interaction actually works vs how I think it should work.
Anyone else have this grinding their gears?
E: apparently it’s just me!
Thanks for the replies, everyone.
I resent people calling me, because I have no choice but to be rude or to be forced in to a conversation that takes all of my attention, but on their schedule
A text is the opposite of that. Treating it as if it were a conversation would make it just as annoying as a phone call
Thanks. This is exactly how I feel about this.
There’s this person I know who will text you several times asking you to urgently call them back.
When you eventually call back…
Them: "So, how about that thing?
Me: “Yes. Something something”
Them: “Ok thanks, see ya” — click
Drives me nuts.
I find it disrespectful and they can’t fathom why.
They’re an otherwise cool person, but this one thing…
Wat? I have ADHD and I view texting completely different. It is not like a face to face convo, it’s more akin to email, but less formal. You reply when you have time, unless it is urgent.
You do need to figure out what is the difference between asynchronous and synchronous conversation.
I see texting as a method of asynchronous communication. I tell people, “If you need a fast reply from me, call, don’t text.”
It could be they just wanted to checkin and see how you were, not really looking to have a conversation. I think it really depends on what the opening text was.
My wife and I have a hierarchy:
- If you want a response right away, call
- If you want a response as soon as they’re not busy, text
- If you don’t care when you get a response, email
In addition, we use email when we have longer, more involved things to say, and texts to send a quick “I love you” or whatever.
