Well I think I might be autistic, I’ve wondered why I feel so different from other people, why it feels like I am taking my entire life, why when I lose focus, or am not being focused on i become completely silent and struggle to make even simple comments, and why I have had to watch and learn from others to become remotely social. I guess those are all signs of autism. I took that RAADS-R test and got a score of 141, which is slightly above the mean for autistics, I also took a few other of those quizzes.
But my question is what happens now? What do I do? I don’t feel comfortable asking my parents if I can get examined, I can’t really afford to do it myself, but I guess I could try. I don’t want to just start saying that I’m autistic, and have to mention that it’s self diagnosed because I think we all know the stigma around that.
Heck I’m still in the stage (or I assume it’s a stage because it matches that one post here where they talked about their stages of realizing they have autism, and I related completely to it) where I’m not sure if I am not just faking this whole thing. So what do I do now?
Hey I actually managed to have a conversation about it and we’re scheduling an appointment! The conversation was insanely funny too, my mom was talking about how time oriented I was as a child, like if we went to the store mid day it would get me so angry, and how much I loved lining up and sorting my hotwheels. I was so shocked that such clear signs had been given when I was a child, and they didn’t realize ir that I just was laughing, and now I’ve got an appointment
I don’t know. It’s just an uncomfortable feeling I guess. Probably a mix of my hate for attention, I don’t even like complements, to a worry about how they’ll treat it and react. Both of my siblings have depression and they were willing to help them, but they’ve always treated them differently from me, they’re both girls and when they sure their interests, it’s congratulated, but when I’ve shared mine it’s often met with criticism. I guess it’s some mid of that.
The “imposter syndrome” phase is completely expected. Experience tells me that most people that would take the time to make such an assessment of their self and come away with the assumption that they are autistic, and also follow that up with questioning whether or not they’re faking it, most likely are autistic. The imposter syndrome is a byproduct of masking. We’re so used to having to present an image for others that we still assume we’re doing it when we discover our authentic selves because we’re so discouraged from just being ourselves that we have difficulty recognizing the authenticity of who we are when we aren’t masking.
Welcome to the community, by the way. This is always a safe place to take the mask off, and nobody here will judge you for your questions or your experiences.
Man people are really rude, downvoting you when you’re just trying to seek help…
I’m learning about this myself. What helped and what I understand:
- Find a non-judgmental community open to self-diagnosed Autistics where you can talk and make friends. I recommend something real time (Discord, Matrix, IRC) or something where there is more community even if it’s slower paced (Forums)
- Learn about Autism. Deep dive. Learn about it’s history, masking, the spectrum, those who have high and low support needs, how Autism manifests, Autistic and Neurodiverse communities, the relationships we have with other disability communities and the LGBTQ+ community, injustices against us, the misguided communities seeking to “cure” our condition and Autism Speaks, ABA therapy, the difficulties we face in the workplace and relationships, etc.
- Self-examine and determine how Autism affects you, your mind, your body, your relationships and circumstances. Re-examine your past with a kind and forgiving eye now that you know better.
- Seek a therapist and/or Autism assessment if it suits you, helps, and you can afford it.
Took that test too. 154. Still don’t get it, but I relate to so many things. The lines between what is what are blurry. But, hey, tomorrow is doctor time. You should do the same! Mental health is important!
Nice man! I think I’ll just have to man up and talk to a doctor, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that anytime soon, but I appreciate it.
also seems like I should have put less ephasiss on the test, that has just been one of the many things on the road to thinking I might have autismz but doubting online tests is a very really and good thing to do, so I can’t blame folk.
Self-diagnosis is valid. If you feel alright in your current environment, but think that autism might explain some of your experiences, then I would not prioritize getting a real diagnosis.
Learn about autism and how it affects you specifically. Autism is not just a linear spectrum from “low functioning, infantile autism” to “high functioning, Asperges” as some stereotypical explanations would put it. Learning about autism in general helps, but what matters most is learning what it means to you: What you can do without getting drained, what you shouldn’t do, what kind of support that would help you.
As part of this journey you might realize something your parents does unknowingly to support you (or worse hinder you) or realize why you drifted apart from former friends. Some of this might be hard to accept, other things might be light-bulb moments, where things suddenly makes sense. Take your time.
At some point a diagnosis might be useful. Either to get the support you need from a bureaucracy or to get acceptance from your surroundings. But as long as you are alright, I would have a specific goal before seeking a diagnosis.
“If you are alright …”, I’ve said this twice. If you are experiencing stress (and not just the “I so busy…” kind), depression, or other mental issues then I would seek an evaluation for your autism. Treating mental issues as an otherwise neurotypical might do you more harm than good.
And finally, make sure you have a space where you can be you.
I should add that getting a diagnosis before being able to process having autism is valid too. But that’s not the vibe I get from Sketchpad01.
I’m all for getting a diagnosis, when it serves a goal also as part of self-realization. I’m just sad when I see diagnosis as a sort of entrance exam to the autism community.
