I’m going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that’s part of my problem.
But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?
You can’t control the past so there’s not much point stressing out over it. Learn what you can from it and apply those learnings in the present where you can actually change things. If you feel you didn’t do enough social things, maybe try joining clubs, being more proactive with organising things with your friends or something else that works for you.
Everyone’s experience is different and it doesn’t mean you did it wrong, you just focused on the things that made more sense to you at the time. Maybe you are realising you didn’t value some other things enough and that’s ok, you can bring those learnings forward.
Congrats on coming into your final year btw and good luck!
My thoughts are that if you didn’t make friendships or useful acquaintances during college then it’s probably down first and foremost to your personality type and how your classes were scheduled. But first and foremost, your personality.
You seem to be hung up on the myth of college as “that special experience” but it’s just a myth. If you happen to be just somewhat on the introvert side and your schedule mixed you up with different people for every course you were taking, good luck forging any long lasting relationships. You can socialise, of course, but if you don’t share the time consistently with people then it’s going to be about as long lasting as acquaintances you make on the elevator or the bus.
You will probably find you start networking much better once you get a job, simply because you will be spending time consistently with a limited amount of people.
You didn’t miss much. Move on and succeed!
College is a couple of decades ago for me. I don’t keep up with most of the people I met. The biggest significance it has on me at this point is the qualifications and skills I gained.
The people I’ve met since then have a much bigger impact on my life.
Lean in for the next chapter.
I have the exact opposite experience. It has been a decade and a half for me since I went to college. I went for 4 years, but eventually didn’t get a degree, because it wasn’t the right career for me. I do still keep in touch with the friends I made.
Now I’m doing a retry in college (2 years so far), completely different line of work and this time over I’m making friends, but the gained skills are definitely the most significant.
The difference is that this time, I don’t meet up with peoole outside of school (I have a wife and kids), which keeps the focus on school and away from long term friendships, because friendships are build on shared experiences.
I’m pretty bad at keeping up with people. I enjoy seeing old acquaintances and friends, but I never contact them. So it rarely happens.
Me too. I have a handful of longtime friends, but we see each other maybe once or twice per year. We do keep in touch via whatsapp a lot where we watch soccer games and star trek togehter-ish. I don’t like soccer, but it’s a good excuse to keep in touch with my friends. I feel that it’s hard to make new friends once you’re working fulltime, so I try to hang on to the once I have.
I had a shitty experience myself too.
It’s just another phase of life. You’ll move into the work industry and make friends there, have new experiences. Don’t give this time more significance than it deserves.
So speaking from experience and a background in education, the most important thing you’ll get from uni is yourself. Or more specifically, how you see yourself. Uni (college for you US folk) lets us extend our formative phase and define how we see ourselves and what we’ll put out into the world going forward.
So my advice is go easy on yourself, everyone’s experience is different and no one’s is right or wrong. You mention a lot of great things you did, heading towards graduation with good grades and little/no debt is a huge success, sounds like you’re practical, hard-working and smart. Maybe you didn’t have the wild ragers, hookups, BFFs that we see in media, but I’d imagine you did have some good social experiences, casual friends, good conversations (even in classes) and the sort of interactions that help you build better relationships later on in life.
Take a deep breath, focus on the positive, which there is plenty even in your short post, and remember you’ve got a whole exciting life ahead of you, plenty of time for adventures, friendships/relationships, and you’ve put yourself in a great position to find those.
And I apologize if this sounds preachy or therapisty (and reading comments, it’s not far from what others have said too), but I’m basically writing a letter to 22yo me, and at 38 now, trust me, life has been awesome after uni, so congrats on your hard work, power through to the end of the year, and take some time to feel proud of who you are and have become.
