I got nothing recent, but here are a few from the past.

I was once reading a magazine and tried to pinch-zoom a photo. I tried multiple times before I understood the depths of my stupidity.

I once took my new car into the dealer about a month after I got it for warranty work because the washer fluid wasn’t working anymore. This was after I looked it over and couldn’t find the cause, so I assumed it was a body control module or maybe the stalk was bad. I was pushing the stalk forward instead of pulling it backwards. The tech, service writer, and myself had a good laugh about how I had forgotten how to use the damn thing. There is a freaking icon with “pull” on the stalk. I had been using it just fine and then caught the stupid one day.

I once remarked that they should invent vizine, but for your mouth while I had cottonmouth. Before anyone steals my idea, water was invented over 12 billion years ago.

I tried to take photos of hallucinations to show others. Yes, photos, plural.

Before you worry, I am dedicated child-free.

I’m a programmer, so this is pretty much a constant thing haha. Sometimes you write the smartest shit imaginable, and sometimes you waste 4 hours on something extremely simple.

Added an extra shelf to my shoe rack today. After measuring, cutting, drilling, even made little notches below the shelf, barely putting the shelf in because of hinges in the way, vacuuming the mess, halfway packing up my tools and call it a successful day and… doors won’t close because of the hinges on the doors hitting the shelf. Moved it 5mm lower after drilling another set of holes.

Asked my dad’s permission to go see the eclipse next month

I’m almost 30

My job involves opening boxes, getting serial numbers from the contents, and resealing the boxes. I have repeatedly done the last two steps in the opposite order.