Mine is the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre

41 points

Growing up in the 80s meant that pretty much any kids movie was going to be traumatizing. Gremlins: horrifying. Neverending Story: emotional damage. The Land Before Time: can’t think of dinosaurs without tearing up. It’s like the whole movie industry was explicitly devoted to fucking us up.

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10 points

Flight of the Navigator was awesome.as a kid. Kinda fucked up when I rewatched it a few years ago

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4 points

Pee-wee Herman did the voice of the ship’s computer

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6 points

Really? I loved that as a kid. What was so bad about it?

Oh yeah…didn’t he come back to see decades had passed on Earth and his family thought he was dead?

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13 points

Hey, don’t forget Transformers: The Movie, the one in which all your heroes just fuckin’ died (so some greedy toy company execs could boost sales).

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7 points

I vividly remember watching that movie in the theater. My brother and I were so hyped we were standing on our seats for the opening song. Then they had Optimus Prime cuss and we absolutely couldn’t believe it. When he died, I had never seen such bullshit. Optimus Prime can’t die, he was the toughest robot ever.

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7 points

can’t think of dinosaurs without tearing up

It may be of solace to know that dinosaurs have survived that mass-extinction event in the lineage of birds.

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10 points

Unfortunately, the trauma of Littlefoot’s mom dying isn’t lessened by the knowledge that pigeons are shitting on my roof thanks to her sacrifice.

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10 points

I suspect a bunch of animators wanted their work to be taken seriously as art, but were stuck making kids movies, so they made kids movies that were shockingly dark to try to persuade people that animation was a versatile medium.

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20 points

You also have the Dark Crystal, Water Ship Down, The Last Unicorn, Watcher in the Woods (which was a Disney movie!) and the Secret of NIMH. Seriously, kids movies in the eighties were horrifying.

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1 point

amityville 2.

fucking movie was wrong on so many levels.

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2 points
*

Exactly the same! I saw it when I was 8. Also the original Resident Evil movie.

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4 points
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3 points

Lol, it seems like there was a whole category of films made to ride the coat tails of better, more famous films by sitting beside them on the shelf at Blockbuster, waiting to be picked up by clueless parents.

My sisters still give my dad a hard time about all the knock-off movies he brought home when we were kids. To this day, a Gordy is family short-hand for a disappointing knock-off: “Hey, wait, this isn’t brie, this is ‘cheese product’…you got the Gordy cheese!”

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1 point
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2 points

Yeah, I remember that being a real thing: one studio would get wind that another studio was working on a film with a particular theme, and they’d rush to put out an equivalent movie. Later on, it wasn’t even just cheap knockoffs: remember when Deep Impact came out right at the same time as Armageddon? And then like…The 13th Floor, eXistenZ, and The Matrix all came out in 1999. I wonder how much of that was strict copying, how much was scripts influencing one another, and how much was just the zeitgeist.

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4 points

A guy being shot to the head until it turns into mushy red pulp from 4chan. Might have been the reason for all my psyche problems ngl.

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