1: “This wasn’t what I was thinking when you said you wanted an open relationship.”

2: “What were you expecting?”

1: “I don’t know, but it wasn’t her.”

I asked for beer, James. Not a teddy bear.

So Ted, how has life been after you stared in those films?

I know you care, but really, we’re ok. It’ll all be better once we’re married.

“I told you we should have eaten at the other place”