The 3 H’s. When someone in your life comes up to you with a problem, you either figure out, or ask them; if they want to be Hugged, Heard or Helped.
A lot of the time when someone is venting at you, they just want to be heard and understood, and I’m the type of man to want to immediately fix the issue, and it’s a bit invasive and often off the mark, so I reign myself in and ask them if they want to be Hugged, Heard or Helped. More often than not, they just want to vent and don’t want me butting in with solutions to their issues.
So the next time someone confides in you, take a step back and analyse how you should respond going forward, it really helped me understand more.
“You’re an adult. You get to enjoy whatever you like.”
Stuffed animals? Legos? Video games? Cartoons? I’ve been made fun of all my life for liking “stupid stuff” or “kid stuff” (even as a kid).
I pay my taxes. I’ve lived life long enough to know that I deserve to be happy. What kind of miserable shit-head would make fun of me enjoying something? Someone whose opinion has no value to me, that’s who.
Thanks, I needed to hear that. The voice in my head not allowing me to enjoy “stupid things” is sometimes unbearable
If it brings you joy, it’s definitely not stupid.
I look back and regret not embracing things I had interest in.
I was made fun of for my Pokémon cards so I threw them away. I was told that my drawings are weird so I stopped. After being constantly told that video games were “a stupid waste of time” and that I “should be doing something productive”, I boxed them up and gave them away.
Now Pokémon cards are cool and there are worldwide tournaments. I look wistfully at talented artists & animators and wish I hadn’t given up. Video games can now be considered “art” and are openly enjoyed by so many.
I’m too old to let others dictate what I should & shouldn’t like. I wear fun clothes, collect stuffed animals, nerd out over Zelda lore, paint miniatures for DnD games. Why? Because I enjoy it and I deserve to be happy in what I like.
I hope that you will one day feel that you are able to enjoy things openly, too.
Chin up. Enjoy your happiness.
some adults enjoy making fun of other people. they are often miserable shit-heads of course, but let them enjoy their hobby too. doesnt hurt to be able to laugh at yourself.
No, fuck that. That’s like the paradox of tolerance or free speech - “tolerate the intolerant,” “hate speech is free speech.”
I liked how someone else put it a few months ago: tolerance comes with a contract: tolerate everyone. If you break this contract, you’re OUT.
So, yeah. I’ll live and let you live - as long as you don’t step on my toes. As soon as that happens, I’ll tell you to fuck right off (not you, OP, but that ‘miserable adult making fun of me.’)
Of course, if the other party is just being genuinely and harmlessly funny, that’s another story.
My father once told me that as soon as you notice that you’re tipsy it’s time to ease down.
Even if you stop immediately you’re going to continue getting more drunk from the alcohol sitting in your stomach waiting to be absorbed.
Wise words that have really stuck with me and definitely helps on nights out.
I stopped drinking like 10 years ago and i find it fascinating how hard it is to just stop drinking. I never really liked the taste of alcohol, so i had kind of a hard time to get tipsy, but then it snowballed. I talked about this with my frinds who were bigger drinkes than me often. The conversation was always like:" you know how you get drunk, having a grand old time, and instead of stopping, you just keep going, and it’s never getting better, just worse?" And we often tried to stay in the sweet spot, but everything ALWAYS went out of control, well knowing that it’s gonna end up bad.
Oof, that’s rough. Congratulations on staying off the drink for 10 years though. That’s really solid work. Very impressive.
I personally can keep myself in the sweet spot all night and well into the next morning and almost never get messy and truly believe it’s down to that “Ease down, son. You’ve a stomach full of booze to come” that pops into my head.
“Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed”.
It’s an inversion of the saying that ends in “worth doing well”, and it sticks with me because it’s genuinely good advice.
Like, turning in a half-completed assignment for a failing grade is way less harmful to one’s GPA than failing to turn in anything and taking a “0”. I might not have the energy after work to do all of my laundry, but knocking out one load is still better than none. Frozen dinners might not be healthy, but skipping meals would be worse.
You can’t whole-ass everything all the time, but half-ass is better than no-ass. 😸
It also helps overcome the paralysis of perfection.
Sometimes just producing something will do far more to help you improve than any amount of prep work. Do a half arsed job, then figure out where you actually need to improve it. By that point you will have a lot more momentum to keep working on it, and a lot more idea where to focus.
Fully agreed.
With depression it’s more of a lethargy paralysis. It makes you feel like it’s too hard, and not worth all the effort. Once you are moving , it becomes more obvious how hollow that feeling is. It often doesn’t go away, but can be fought against. I suspect it’s why exercise is helpful for some, but not others. It helps get you into the mindset of doing things. When it’s mild enough, this can shatter the false walls on your mind.
“Is this gonna matter at your funeral?” A friend asked me this once.
Questions the gravity of the circumstances, and how much you should care (if at all).
