The ocean: state of impending catastrophe
Humans: can we make another kind of cheese from them?
I wonder if there’s a hidden whale/dolphin society debating whether or not to invade humans right this very moment
Perhaps it’ll make your day better to know that Pacific nations have passed legislation recognising legal personhood for whales and dolphins, granting them rights against being hunted?
Although I will admit that’s an interesting little fact, I would have been perfectly fine not knowing it.
So many questions. How does one go about milking a whale? How do you make cheese from milk with a thickness similar to No. 4 Fuel Oil? Who was the first person to attempt to milk a whale? Who is buying up all these whale dairy products? Is there such a thing as a whale milk cheesecake?
So I elected not to look into it, because I doubt that zoos are selling it. Which means it’s likely sourced from whalers
Japan, Iceland, Norway, are all actively fishing commercially (though Japan uses the cover of “scientific” expeditions to justify it.)
According to their process page the whales are guided into a harness and then milked. Whether or not we should believe it, I cannot say.
Well the reviews are from the Oculus marketing lead, a, Simian Field Reseacher (sic) and an independent shoe salesman. Two of them even have the same picture. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that this isn’t real.
Plus they’re touting it as the new sustainable future of dairy. That alone is an insane thing to claim. There are fewer than thirty thousand gray whales in the world. They produce eighty gallons of milk a day. That’s about twelve cows worth if you ignore that most of it is going to be drunk by the whale’s calf.
Plus cow dairy requires constant breeding in order to keep the cows milk supply up. Just like humans, they only produce milk after giving birth and for a limited time.
Breeding cows in captivity is pretty standard fare these days.
I’m not sure whale breeding is an industry that currently exists. Nor is whale sperm harvester. As if milking a female whale is complicated enough.
But why is this any more disgusting than cow milk cheese or goat milk cheese?
Well.
I hate to break it to you… but the whales probably aren’t milked more than once.
My guess is it’s sold by whalers.
They talk about their process. It involves a whale harness, and divers to do the milking of wild whales.
I’m honestly still wondering if this is an elaborate joke 😆
Edit: from their FAQ:
Is this a joke? No, this isn’t a joke, and we’re here to stay.
Further down the page:
Treating whales ethically and with respect is our #1 priority. All whales participate on a strictly voluntary basis
I’m still not convinced it’s real…
That’d be my bet. I’d bet they aren’t even “milked”. The probably just take it out of the body manually. I assume whales probably carry a lot of milk though, so if someone is killing whales I guess it’s good it’s being used for something… although that gives more profit to the whalers so maybe not.
100% that someone has tasted/drunk/chewed whale milk. In fact I don’t think there would be many species that haven’t been milk tasted by a human at this point
Rat milk, I guarantee you no one has ever tasted that.
Edit: Welp, my day is ruined. People are weirder than I’ve ever imagined.
You’d be totally wrong.
It’s a bit thin and watery, and the taste isn’t very strong. But it is slightly sweet.
Source: used to breed pet rats, and mama rats leak sometimes. No reason to not taste it when that happens.
Wasn’t yummy, but it wasn’t bad either.
And, yes, I’m certain it was milk and not urine.
Hell, our neighborhood had a cat back when I was a kid. Not a stray, but not anyone’s cat either. She was super sweet, loved kids, but did not love being in houses. But she did love our back porch for birthing. And she was perfectly fine with any of us handling the kittens, and loved belly rubs while producing milk. So, it was inevitable to end up tasting it if you were an adventurous kid that knew where the milk in the fridge came from because you’d milked cows before.
Most milk tastes roughly the same tbh. We’ve bred cows and some goats to where they’re different, but the taste varies more by diet than animal. Mind you, I haven’t gone around sampling everything, but I don’t have an artificial mental block about tasting it either, and I’ve been around a lot of livestock and pets that were lactating over the years.
Fat content is the real, major factor after diet.
Carnivores, or omnivores that eat a lot of meat, tend to be a little “gamy” compared to herbivores. Goats are an exception, but the ones I’ve had “from the tap” so to speak, were bred for milk, so weren’t as gamy as it can get.
Horse milk is pretty funky. Not bad, but I wouldn’t pour a glass either.
Trying to think of anything that stood out from the herd, so to speak, but nothing comes to mind beyond that.
Have you ever met the kind of people that keep rats as pets? I’m gonna guess that at least 1% of them have tasted rat milk.
How TF does a baby whale nurse then? The momma whale is essentially pooping lard out of her nipple? That’s a visual I didn’t expect today.
Why imagine when you can live it? (Just don’t tell them it isn’t for your cat when ordering)
So maybe more like a milkshake? Her milkshake brings all the calves to the yard?
