Most things you see a real professional doing.
Just look at the ease a window washer cleans a window stripless and fast, or a bricklayer just gets stones on the same height with 2 small taps on the brick consistently. Many more examples like that…
Years of experience and muscle memory make it look easy… but it isnt.
And humans want to replace some of this shit with robots.
Window washer working on sky scrappers? Sure, I guess it is a job that can be done by robots.
Bricklayer? Why the fuck???
I don’t see why a robot can’t lay bricks just as effectively or more than a human.
For one thing it is a tough, dirty, physically taxing job. If you can reduce the strain on humans and not wear them out as fast I’d call it a win…
Sure, but I’d imagine that Joe the Bricklayer may have a slightly different reaction when you tell him the exciting news that he doesn’t have to lay bricks anymore because a robot can do it.
Honestly, stuff like underwater welding should be done by robots. Stuff like that is so unbelievably dangerous. I could see a lot of dangerous jobs getting swapped over to robots (bomb defusal, hotwork, chemical processing or oil rig repairs when the plant is shut down, etc).
Bricklayer? Why the fuck???
Why the fuck not? The goal should be to automate all the jobs, so we humans can enjoy our time on this planet instead of spending it working.
Having an interesting conversation with someone you just met. I see people do this shit all the time and they make it look like it comes naturally but every time I’m in that situation it is so difficult. Its like a series of quick time events that im severely underprepared for
I learned to combat this with 3 simple questions:
- What kind of job do you do? (Or study)
- Where do you live?
- Do you have any kids, dog,…
Be interrested in their answers and add some simple follow-up questions that show you are listening. Add some content of your own as a follow-up.
Posing that first question can be a bit weird, but the rest is as simple as it sounds.
Be interested in their answers
Yeah, so, that’s where I usually drop the ball. What if I’m just… not?
It really depends on the person, you have to have some sort of jumping off point. Whether that is sharing something in common with someone or having cool hobbies.
I think this is the biggest myth of conversation. People always tell you to search for people whom you share something in common with, but the reality is that nearly everyone shares something in common and there’s no reason to go searching for it.
The key to a good conversation with a stranger is to initially do two things: 1. Ask details about the stranger and 2. Intertwine that with yourself in some way. You don’t even need to share this part.
Good conversations have these things I’ll call “footholds” where you intentionally give each other details shortly after meeting in order to create those ties in conversation. If you ask where someone is from, you should shortly offer up where you are from as well. Or if you ask about a hobby, offer a light comparison to your own.
Once you have enough of these footholds, the conversation should flow freely. If it ever doesn’t, ask the stranger more about themselves. And trust me, just be interested in what they say.
I’m not perfect at it, but what helps me is that I genuinely love to learn and I like to take the opportunity to learn from people when I meet them. I just need to find an entry point (job, hobby, something the person is knowledgeable about) and then I start asking questions, and applying the limited knowledge I might already have on the subject.
With short interactions with people that are working (supermarket, bank, restaurant, phone assistance) I usually go for empathy, and overall just being nice. When one comes to me I go for a joke to brighten their day a bit.
I sometimes use the alphabet method. When a conversation gets stuck I think of words starting with a and form a question from that.
Example : angler fish, amazon, aeroplane
-> do you like travelling? What’s your dream destination? Do you like the deep sea/ocean/swimming?
*stressed depressed lemon zest
Parenting. Before I had kids I was often judgmental of parents, but now I’ve realized all the things I didn’t take into account and all the things you just don’t have control over. In my case, I was not expecting to be a single parent, there was the pandemic, and I did not factor in how impactful the lack of sleep and autonomy would be.
My mom told me she used to judge the parents in the shops with screaming kids, we didn’t do that and she thought it was her excellent parenting. She said “Then God gave me Janet” to cure her judgemental hubris, lol.
Nobody is a good parent all the time, we aren’t robots and exhaustion is such a drain on intelligence and compassion. But most of us are good parents enough of the time, thankfully.
Even without suddenly becoming single, or a pandemic, or anything, being a parent isn’t something that can be explained to someone who hasn’t experienced it, IMO. You can use words to explain, that you think are accurate. But it just has to be experienced to fully understand. The fatigue, the change in stress levels, the amount of time you lose. Conceptually not hard to grasp. But the way it feels, different story. “Wow, this is worse/more than I thought.”
But given all that, it’s also hard to explain that it’s all worth it. One of the best things about being a parent right now for me personally, is watching my kids learn everything for the first time, and the wonders of learning, beaming from their eyes. It’s such a privilege being the one to have a chance to teach them a bunch of things. Being a role model, being someone with whom they build trust.
Also walking into their room after they’ve fallen asleep and watching two absolute gigawatt units expend their energy non-stop all day, now completely still (and silent, JFC), and just so peaceful. Their eyes just two lines, rather than two open balls all day. Adorable.
100% accurate.
Once they become teens, the joy is in seeing them realize how much they don’t yet know. It happens rarely, so make sure to document it.
Nothing is more entertaining than being a parent.
There is also nothing to explain the disassociative feeling of having them kidsplain to you things that you taught them, or were actually there for. It’s like, dude, you didn’t know how to wipe your own bum until I taught you. I think I have a handle on 9/11, liberal vs. conservative politics, the Cold War, collapse of the Soviet Union, or how to drive/ shop for groceries/ pay taxes/ vote/feed my dog/apply a bandaid, or whatever thing you think just came into existence because you learned it.
lmao that’s funny. Yeah this is already somewhat the case with my 3 and 4 year old. Even sometimes when they were 2. They’ll tell me things I told them, repeatedly. Things they learn in preschool. Things that they make up on the spot that are completely untrue bullshit. And you’ll just go “oh really, wow, how interesting”. It’s all about sharing with each other at this point lol. Everything doesn’t have to be exactly right or true. I’m trying to remember that because my oldest is a bit of a know-it-all. Trying to prevent further damage to him being a little annoying prick with that behavior. 😆 Especially towards the younger one.
you didn’t know how to wipe your own bum until I taught you. I think I have a handle on 9/11, liberal vs. conservative politics
I agree completely with the one exception being the current aging generation that is so completely brainwashed by Murdock et al, that think the working class are the badies, among other misconceptions…
I went through Army training where they intentionally deprive you of sleep for 9 weeks, and I had still never been as tired as I was the first 6 months of parenthood. I didn’t know that you can get that tired and still be alive.
I have a friend with kids. I’m also an aunt. I think it’s absolutely fantastic when people can be parents, but I also don’t at all understand how anyone is capable of doing that shit. I’m more than capable of briefly watching and playing with kids for several hours at a time, but not caring for them 24/7 forever.
It’s especially wild to me when parents basically explain to me that they are constantly legitimately going through extreme suffering in what you describe in your first paragraph.
But then they tell me how literally suffering 24/7 is somehow all worth it to them and it makes even less sense. I’m guessing there’s some sort of hormonal thing going on to trick the brain into giving periodic happiness episodes in the middle of what sometimes seems to be flat out torture.
😆 Sounds very accurate to a normal parental experience indeed.
I don’t know if it’s necessarily hormonal. I mean… Everything brain related is, perhaps. I don’t know about such things. But it’s mostly for me about how beautiful it is to have such a purely innocent being put their full trust in you and love you unconditionally (whether by instinct or not). You get to have an extremely tight emotional bond with someone who is completely dependent on you, and that really sharpens your morals. It grows you the fk up. You start having a lot more empathy, even if you thought you had a lot of it before.
It just changes you, completely. Like, I’ve explained it now, in some pretty well-chosen few words, but there’s still this explanatory gap here that will never be bridged by words, only through experience. It’s… hard to explain. 😅
You even feel a little conned, sometimes. Always tired, annoyed, want to be alone, stuff like that. Then when the kids are away for a day or more, “I miss them”. Like what the actual F. 🤡 Am I infested with brain parasites or am I a parent?
And those people in comments that are always shitting on parents? Wait until you see what they look like and how they live. Often the most outrageous comments are made by the most outrageous people.
I can’t even conceive of the lack of sleep. Like I’ll miss out on a few hours and feel like death, but staying up an entire night? And then having to drive, with a sick kid in the car?
But I mean ultimately I don’t want kids of my own, so I don’t have that internal ember to stoke my motivation. But man, parents must really want it to go through all that I see them doing.
Anyway hope things are going alright for you. One of the nice things is that it can (generally) get easier over time, and then eventually you have a new adult family member that you helped make :)
Making friends as an adult
I’m really struggling with this right now. I’ve joined to some new interest groups, but everyone including myself, seems so guarded, every time I leave feeling like I’ve failed a barrage of social aptitude tests. I feel like so many adults have baggage that by 40 they’re spring loaded to overreact and overthink, they come across as unapproachable. Or maybe I’m awful, which is what keeps kicking around in my head.
You’re not awful. It can be very hard, especially if you aren’t outgoing by nature. Doubly especially if you don’t have an identifiable “thing” for people to know you by.
The best I’ve done is let people know my interests, and my values, and just generally who I am . People who are on the same sine will gravitate to you, while everyone else will rightfully treat you like a weirdo.
Just the cost of doing business, that.
Thank you for your kind words. Logically I know I am not awful as I have friends and try to act with kindness every day. But when you seem to be the common denominator it can be hard not to think you are the reason. I’ve read you aren’t supposed to talk about yourself a lot, that it can be off putting. I try to use approachable body language, actively listen, remember when someone tells me things about themselves, but I am so in my head with social interactions I know I am coming off real weird, like I was raised in a cave. It’ll be ok ; I can always get more dogs to hang out with.
