I have asked this question to countless people (mostly in hair salons) as an alternative to small talk, and it always yields interesting results.

Rules:

  • You get the money right now, right where you are. If it’s 10pm and you’re in the middle of nowhere, your money will still go poof at 11pm.
  • As a result of the above, tell us what time it is and roughly where you are (big city, desert, small town, …)
  • You must spend the money. You cannot give it to someone to hold on to it for you for a while.
  • Normal world rules apply, e.g. you cannot buy a $250k car at a dealership in 1h in cash, and you cannot buy a house in 1h either.
  • Remember that getting from where you are to the place you need to go takes time. Factor that in!

Edit: I’m glad you guys had fun with this one. Feel free to post similar hypothetical questions. I kinda like these.

Edit edit: Free advertising 😅 --> I run and maintain an open source push notification service called ntfy, which let’s you send notifications to your phone via PUT/POST, like curl -d "backup successful" ntfy.sh/mytopic. Go check it out.

62 points
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Go to the nearest jewelry store and buy everything in it. Wait an hour, return it as per the refund policy. If there is no refund policy then I would sell it off. Even if I lost 50% on the sell back, that’s still half a mil in cash.

Most popular jewelers have at least a 30 day refund policy.

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19 points
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This has been my go to answer if the hair stylist asked what I’d do. I’d go to different jewlery stores, because they’d still call the cops if you wanna buy stuff for a million.

(I forgot to add the “no returning items” rule; but since you added the “selling it off” part I think it’s fine, hehe)

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2 points

they’d still call the cops if you wanna buy stuff for a million.

On what grounds could the cops make an arrest?

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2 points

A sudden amount of undeclared income in cash would set off alarms to anyone in law enforcement. Even if it’s not a crime by itself, they’d absolutely want to know how you got it.

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1 point

They’d have reasonable suspicion of illegally obtained money.

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46 points

I would buy four tickets on a mini-sub tour of the Titanic and give them to 4 billionaires.

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39 points

It’s 10:15pm in suburban Colorado, and I’m purchasing one sexual favor from my husband for $1 million.

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8 points

One? You’ve got a whole hour! That’s probably 7 or 8 at least!

…right?

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11 points

Let’s put it this way. It’s a 45-min session for $900,000… and at some point I also make it rain with the remainder of the cash.

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6 points
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expired

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34 points
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I’m in Switzerland, so I buy a leisurely coffee and croissant. With the change I buy a bottle of water.

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6 points

With the change I buy a bottle of water.

What change? You took out a loan to get the croissant.

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31 points

1 million in index funds which I will reinvest later.

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14 points

The post specified cash. How would you purchase $1m in index funds with cash in an hour?

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6 points

Bring it to my bank, deposit, then purchase online.

Though I’d leave it in my index fund, on average they perform better than actively managed accounts

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7 points

I think getting to a bank, explaining where 1M in cash came from, getting them to accept the deposit, getting them to count it, then spending it in less than an hour is not feasible.

Because, depositing it in a bank is not enough.
It has to be spent.
So, if you don’t spend it then the bank is left without however much disappears… If that makes sense.

And, given that, I don’t think investing is a suitable application.
Otherwise, just invest it directly at the bank.
Maybe you don’t get inflation-beating interest (ie, if it was your 1M you would be losing money), but after whatever-term you get 1M of clean money to spend.

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9 points

Where do you go that accepts 1M in cash without calling the cops? And who manages to count that much money? And who won’t call the cops if the money suddenly vanishes?

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2 points

Depends on if in this hypothetical fantasy situation if buy means initiate or complete the transaction.

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1 point

I’d read it as the physical cash leaving your hands in a transaction, so I guess you could order something to be delivered in X amount of time.

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3 points

Probably the best idea in this thread unless you have other more immediate needs like paying off high interest debts.

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2 points

But is the market open at 10pm?

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