138 points
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  1. Ban abortion
  2. Ban divorce
  3. Lower marriage age to 12.
  4. You can now have a child sex slave, thank Jesus! God bless all.

I think this is the Christian plan for marriage and for childhood for females.

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68 points

If you get them young enough, you can avoid that troublesome think for yourself phase.

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28 points

I’ll give you an upvote for the satire/sarcasm, but I want you to know that it comes with a feeling of disgust towards myself for upvoting those words.

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6 points

If you get them young enough, you can avoid that troublesome think for yourself phase.

sounds a lot like the plan religions use.

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40 points

For the group railing against Sharia law the loudest, they sure do love to legislate religious beliefs. I guess the real problem was Sharia just wasn’t going far enough.

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24 points
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The problem is that those filthy heathens follow the wrong holy book.

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2 points

The irony is that they are all Abrahamic and even worship the same god (Allah/Yahweh/Jehovah - all the same).

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3 points
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Deleted by creator
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2 points

im tweeting this

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84 points

Let’s start with divorcees not being allowed to run in the 2024 election if it is so incredibly unethical and all

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75 points

Conservatives have bad ideas about nearly everything. They should under no circumstances be allowed to have any power. I’d even say they’re an existential threat to the US and the rest of humanity.

It’s far past time to stop treating them as just folks with a different opinion. This is not “oh well they wanted to paint the bedroom walls green and I wanted blue.”

Someone announcing themselves a conservative should be taken as a declaration of a threat. Removing them from power is self defense.

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22 points
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The conservatives opinions bother me. But the authoritarianism is the bigger issue to me. This desire to force their opinions and wills on other people instead of living their lives as they want and leaving others alone is far more problematic.

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13 points

The problem though is tht once the conservative Republicans joined hand with the religious right decades ago, it’s been on a steady course towards authoritarianism

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2 points

Agreed. It’s why I’ll always oppose them.

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6 points

And what really irks me is that there needs to be some semblance of authoritarianism to stop their authoritarianism. Otherwise they’ll keep pushing and pushing and won’t ever stop.

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9 points

Yeah, it’s like the paradox of tolerance. Or “extreme situations call for extreme measures”.

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3 points
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I agree with what you’re getting at, but “conservative” is relative and doesn’t actually indicate specific beliefs, so “conservatives should never have any power” can be easily twisted once the conservatives we’d currently think of are gone.

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6 points
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What word would you prefer? I considered “Republicans” but that doesn’t catch people outside the US. “Contemporary Republicans or people who would vote for them” isn’t very catchy

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1 point
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I don’t think there’s an all-encompassing term for people who have “destructive”/harmful beliefs considered conservative. Most I can think of is “bigoted capitalists”, but even “bigoted” could be interpreted way differently. Plus, that excludes bigoted non-capitalists so it has a more narrow usage…

What I go with, though, is “fascists” and “collaborators”. Plain and simple, straight to the point, but most importantly no chance of confusion – that’s how I see our conservatives, their supporters, and their enablers. Ultra-socially-regressives (usually religious) who want a system that enforces/maintains a social hierarchy they deem “natural” (or having a religious justification for the hierarchy). Maybe “wannabe fascists” or “social fascists” would be more accurate, since generally people think of a dictatorship when they think of “fascism”.

“Oppressors” may also work, and it also can pair with “collaborators”. It’s more general, but I think here the flexibility may come be an advantage, and it isn’t tied to a specific set of political beliefs, it vaguely just means “those who use unjust force/threats of force to control others”. Of course, contemporary conservatives follow this definition.

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1 point
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3 points
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53 points

The solution is simple, as it is for gay marriage. Marriage is not recognized by the state/government.

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45 points

Yep. At the very least, just make everything a civil union that any two consenting adults can enter into. Religious people can still get “married”, it just has nothing to do with the government.

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12 points

What? And take away the ability to piss on people?

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12 points

Hey man. What you and your civil partner do in private is up to you.

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4 points

I’m sure there will still be plenty of eager consenting adults that we can all piss on.

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4 points
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Why limit it to two? I say allow any amount of people in a civil union, or allow one person to have a civil union with multiple people separately. It’s mostly for visits in the hospital, parental rights, stuff like that.

Of course, that makes residence/citizenship based on relationships complicated, but that’s mostly an issue caused by closed national borders being a fucked up concept in the first place.

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1 point

I don’t disagree, that’s just a much more involved change. I was just suggesting the bare minimum that would be relatively simple to implement.

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2 points

Maybe they should make it super bureaucratic and you have to pay to renew your civil union every 7 years, otherwise it dissolves.

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27 points
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