60 points

I am so excited for the debates. I want to see these two feeding off of each other’s decline and spiral into a screaming match.

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40 points

I wish they would both just down a handful of research chemicals and get weird with it. It’s both of your last race, have some fun

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That’ll only happen if someone replaces both of their stimulants with sugar pills.

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Call me crazy, but I sincerely, no joke, feel like in one of these debates Trump or his team might try to physically trip Biden or knock him over so that he falls and dies. I don’t think it is beyond the scope of possibility that this could happen.

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Battle of the pharmacists

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15 points

Push up contest

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7 points
6 points

It would’ve been funnier if he just died right there doing those shitty push ups

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80 year old semi-senile guy vs 80 year old semi-senile guy vs 70 year old guy who literally had brainworms

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best democracy

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Trump also appeared to forget that he was no longer in charge of foreign policy, leaving one interview early to “deal with” a conflict in Afghanistan.

“He [Trump] also seemed to think that he still had some foreign policy powers,” he noted. “There was one day where he told me he needed to go upstairs to deal with Afghanistan, even though he clearly didn’t,” he said, adding that Trump actually called the nation “the Afghanistan.”

lol at the image of trump saying “i have to go deal with the afghanistan” whenever he has to leave an interview to take a shit.

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20 points

the afghanistan is just

Death to America

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18 points

I mean it sounds like this was around the time of the US withdrawal, so he probably just meant PR stuff in relation to that

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“I have to go upstairs real quick, I think I left the Afghanistan running.”

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“i have to go deal with the afghanistan”

This is my new ‘gotta poop’ conversation breaker with libs

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Does anybody have that infograрhic were they say trumрs real name is dawood nuristani and he is from afghanistan?

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Trump: So I said, ‘Let me ask you a question, and he said, ‘Nobody ever asked this question,’ and it must be because of MIT, my relationship to MIT —very smart. He goes, I say, ‘What would happen if the boat sank from its weight? And you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery is now underwater and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there?’ By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately, do you notice that, a lot of sharks? I watched some guys justifying it today. ‘Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were, they were not hungry, but they misunderstood what who she was.’ These people are crazy. He said there’s no problem with sharks. ‘They just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming now.’ It really got decimated and other people do a lot of shark attacks. So I said, so there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here, do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking? Water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted, or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted? Because I will tell you, he didn’t know the answer. He said, ‘You know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.” I said, ‘I think it’s a good question.’ I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water. But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted, I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. So we’re going to end that.

Biden: leans forward, causing an eyeball to fall out

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31 points
*

Biden would claim he fought off a shark when he was a pool lifeguard and that sharks name was corn pop

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The claim would also involve an oddly specific story about straight razors, dinging up the edges of said straight razors’ blades on concrete to dull them, and then leaving them in rain barrels overnight so that the blades rust.

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Truly, the country with the world’s most representative democracy

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