Following a meal plan as part of a fitness challenge. Spent three hours meal prepping today for the next few days. It’s a bit of a headache having to figure out when to cook what, but I really got into a flow state.
Not sure what I’m going to do when uni goes back, but maybe I’ll just spend all day on a Sunday cooking and freeze stuff.
Cooking is actually fun (even though I stupidly put garlic in a mega hot pan and it kinda burnt straight away)
Moobeans has had more painkiller/antinausea shots and has started eating a little more! Cracking open a tin of Fancy Feast also helped. Vets say it’s like feeding them McDonalds but if it gets her eating and taking her regular medication that’s fine.
Medical procedures, disability, disordered eating
I’m so beyond angry that a rare undiagnosed medical condition has left me enduring severe pain, nausea, difficulty in eating, and bowel dysfunction for almost 20 years. I haven’t had it confirmed yet for sure, tests will have to be done, but possibilities have been raised around MALS and/or Nutcracker Syndrome. There’s also a strong possibility of gastroparesis. All of these are strongly correlated with the rare genetic disability I was born with.
I’m still going to be appreciating food posts and sharing recipes. I’m not going to let it take that from me too.
But I’m now facing the possibility of needing a temporary nasojejunal feeding tube (a nasal tube that bypasses a broken stomach and goes straight to the small intestine) to support my nutrition. Despite my efforts to keep eating I’ve deteriorated that badly now. Apparently a lot of people with my physical disability do end up requiring feeding tubes and none of the specialists I sought out fucking bothered to tell me. Nope, it must be psychosomatic!
And worse than that, while I’m willing and know what assistance to ask for… if I can’t arrange it another way I still may end up having to repeatedly attend the ER to try and get some action on that. Which will mean repeatedly boarding my cat and waiting in a hospital for up to 12 hours only to potentially be told there’s nothing they can do. For as many times as it takes. (I’ve already done this twice to access a referral to gastro specialists in a different hospital, since the ones I had were actively unhelpful and don’t do the procedure I was asking for. Edit: I’m on the waiting list for the new ones. There’s also a nutritionist which might help me find a pathway.)
And then there’s refeeding syndrome to face.
No pity please, I’m just incensed and having a rant.
Thanks for all the lovely wishes you guys 🥲 I had a long day at work which isn’t how I usually like to spend it - but it was a really good day nevertheless; I got a free bun quietly added to my bag at the bakery on my walk to work, my colleagues utterly spoiled me with gifts, had a few wins, and I treated myself to Inside Out 2 which was awesome (if a little pat near the end). So many emotions thinking about how it’s been so hard to accept parts of myself. It’s just the film I needed to feel more accepting about where I’m at and less torn up about where my sense of self and core values went…
Man, just realised my foot is pale as fuck. Tanning is awesome!
Goodnight everyone ❤️
