Finally i’m gonna be able to contribute!

As a PHP developer, I’m in full support and look forward to contributing to what will be a vastly simpler and easier to use Linux kernel.

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22 points

And the Community rejoices at the perspective of your valuable contributions!

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3 points

As a PHP developer

I’m so, so sorry.

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77 points

Good thing that this isn’t actually possible…

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93 points

Don’t tempt fate. There are already two kernels written in javascript

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57 points

Why would God allow this to happen?

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28 points

Why do you think God stays in heaven, in fear of what He created?

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6 points

God is dead

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To punish us for the sin that is inventing JavaScript.

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17 points

How? You’d need to compile it down to machine code somehow, for the processor to have any clue how to run it. And you’d need some custom library with custom compile instructions, to be able to control memory allocations, memory addresses etc…

I did a quick search and found two operating systems written in JS, both of which cop out when it comes to the kernel. Did you maybe mix it up with those?

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13 points
*

There’s almost always at least a little ASM sprinkled into any kernel, so that’s not a big deal.

OTOH, there is the factor of “you know how Chrome takes up 2GB per tab? What if that was a whole OS?”

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3 points

Maybe I did, I haven’t looked any of them carefully

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5 points

Theoretically if you found a way to compile PHP, you probably could though, right?

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6 points

I mean, I’m a bit out of my water there, both in terms of the featureset of PHP and what’s actually needed for a kernel, but I’m still gonna go with no.

For one, PHP uses reference counting + garbage collection for memory management. That’s normally done by the language runtime, which you won’t have when running baremetal.

Maybe you could implement a kernel, which does as few allocations as possible (generally a good idea for a kernel, but no idea, if it’s possible with PHP), and then basically just let it memory leak until everything crashes.
Then again, the kernel is responsible for making processes crash when they have a memory leak. Presumably, our PHP kernel would just start overwriting data from running processes and eventually overwrite itself in memory(?). Either way, it would be horrendous.

Maybe you could also try to implement some basic reference counting into your own PHP code, so that your own code keeps track of how often you’ve used an object in your own code. Certainly doesn’t sound like fun, though.

Well, and secondly, I imagine, you’d also still need an extension of the language, to be able to address actual memory locations and do various operations with them.

I know from Rust, that they’ve got specific functions in the stdlib for that, see for example: https://doc.rust-lang.org/stable/std/ptr/index.html#functions
Presumably, PHP does not have such functions, because its users aren’t normally concerned with that.

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2 points

Right – I’m not saying you could build a compiler then just go to town. You would still have to build all the tools, using PHP, to interact with hardware, the way other languages do. A horrible idea, lol, but interesting, sort of. Since at its core as long as you can execute logic and read/write to memory, you could do it, I think

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4 points

I did use a crypto mining OS that was Linux but with lots of scripts that were written in… PHP! I never thought I’d see it.

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22 points
*

Update: thank you for pointing out to me which community this was posted on.

I’m going to leave this post up as a cautionary tale for people like me who don’t pay enough attention!


But Linux is cool cuz it’s so fast and it doesn’t break.

Long as I’ve been using it anyway.

So now linux is going to be much slower, going to break and be more susceptible to security breaches?

I’m not a programmer, is the upside supposed to be that with so many more programmers able to work on the kernel, those issues will be able to be fixed by the extra programmers?

It’s not like there’s anything wrong with Linux right now.

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31 points
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Don’t forget to look in which community this was posted

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20 points
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Pppffbbbthhh haha thanks.

Guess I’ll just sit in this, I guess.

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-13 points

Anything is better than C, right? Even 🤮 PHP.

Anti Commercial-AI license

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23 points

PHP and C are both fine languages, they have their strengths and their weaknesses. They’re tools and if you feel the need to shit on them then you clearly need more practice using a diversity of languages.

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-14 points

Ah yes, the almighty counter “everything is relative”. “Malbolge is a fine language with its strengths and weaknesses. It has perfectly valid usecases and can never be shit on, ever.”

Anti Commercial-AI license

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9 points

PHP is probably a fine language, my issue is I suffered dealing with so many shitty applications written in php when I was still coming up through the ranks of IT.

God the number of broken WordPress installs and shitty WordPress plugins.

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8 points

I understand your pain - the real reason for that is that PHP was the first “hobbyist” programming language so a lot of self trained folks built websites that ended up slowly morphing into successful businesses.

One of the things I’m actually most proud of from the PHP community is that around 5.2 the maintainers looked around and saw sites like Quora and StackOverflow were littered with the worst fucking PHP advice endorsing functions like mysql_query and ill-advised features like magic_quotes so the community invested a lot of resources in purging answers that preached anti-patterns and replace them with non-terrible answers.

I work in PHP and it’s perfectly serviceable now, we’ve got strict typing, namespaces, lambdas, all the nice shit you’d expect in a modern language.

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11 points

Jokes on them PHP is itself written in C

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54 points

If we are rewriting it, we should use holyc to make it the way god intended.

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1 point

Ring 0 all the way baybee!!

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