The central banking system is allegedly negotiating with the ransomware gang LockBit to restore 33 terabytes of confidential banking data.

13 points
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the hack contains “33 terabytes of juicy banking information containing Americans’ banking secrets.”

Smells like BS. The Federal Reserve doesn’t maintain bank records for individual Americans.

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6 points

“You better hire another negotiator within 48 hours, and fire this clinical idiot who values Americans’ bank secrecy at $50,000,” the LockBit post said

My friend, you don’t want the Federal Reserve to be mad at you. They’re offering a low price because the alternative is that you spend 20 years in a federal prison.

You’re lucky they’re embarrassed about the hack. I’m surprised they’re offering anything besides, “Turn yourself in and we won’t yank you out of your house in Bulgaria in the middle of the night”.

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3 points

They’re offering a low price because the alternative is that you spend 20 years in a federal prison.

Or don’t even make it to trial, which I’d be fine with.

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2 points

“You should really water those roses by the porch swing, they look a mess.”

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1 point

Lol

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3 points

Someone needs to find these assholes and lock them up in the federal reserve!

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