I was kinda on a nostalgia trip and I stumbled on Jennifer Lopez’s Waiting for Tonight, and it’s basically about how she wants to fuck her partner. It could be more romantic in nature, and for some people it is, but looking at the repression in the West, it’s very racy for its time.
But I ask: Why is it considered bad for straight men to want to listen to a song about how a woman wants to fuck? Volcel Pledge, notwithstanding.
I mean I know the answer is systemic misogyny, but like it doesn’t even make sense?
It’s so bizarre to me as a queer person attracted to men that men and boys are discouraged from listening to musicians who are women.
I’d have loved growing up with musicians I’m attracted to who were attracted to my gender.
I sorta want to explore this experience as an outsider, but I’m curious, what was that like? Did you listen to artists you liked in secret? How are your music tastes now? Any recommendations on music that feels different on a revisit?
Guilty. I remember being a shithead about the Spice Girls waaaaaaaaay back in the day. I don’t even remember why I thought it wasn’t cool.
I don’t even remember why I thought it wasn’t cool.
A lot of music itself was meant received/marketed to reinforce binary gender norms, the auditory equivalent of pink Barbie dolls juxtaposed with Hot Wheels or whatever. If you’re a kid who has internalized these norms and is afraid of being seen as non-conforming, the answer is to reject those artists whose have cultivated a brand targeted at the other gender. It is a bit more relaxed today compared to the 90s.
After posting this comment I found a relevant article about the Spice Girls who did not actually want their music to be specific to girls.
I feel like it’s taken for granted that men often don’t like women as lead performers. It must be a Western thing, as I can mentally think of many non-Western examples, the most obvious example of which is Korea.
Unrelated, but my gf was questioning why there’s so few male lead singers in the DPRK. I just assume that it’s because of conscription, but what do I know.
Umm, I never noticed. I’ve always listened to anything I like. I have lots of female artist in my MP3 collection.
I love Alicia Keys (seen her in concert), Sarah Barellis, Lana del Rey, Nora Jones… lots more!
One of the perks of rejecting toxic masculinity ideology is the vast library of enjoyable music that opens up.
In my personal experience it feels like people have been better about this sort of thing. Or maybe it’s just that as I’ve grown older and am around older people we just don’t give a fuck anymore. But I do remember when I was younger there certainly was that stigma.
