17 points

Stop a kid from harming himself by, punching him in the face. Worth a try

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5 points

At least a bit better than directly shooting them.

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6 points
*

Just murder the kid to death and he’ll never hurt himself again

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2 points

…leaving more tobacco for ol’ Everett’s cigars.

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15 points

Legit though, if you’re a smoker, and you want/need a light, isn’t another simply smoker the best choice?

Like, c’mon Ev, you’ve got a stogie pumping in your hand, and there’s nobody else to be seen, of course the kid asked you.

Also, as an ex smoker, you gotta at least cut back, Mr True. You’ll feel much less stressed out all the time.

No bullshit, just stopping tobacco/nicotine reduced my felt stress immensely. I heartily recommend never starting, or stopping asap for anyone, but especially anyone that’s dealing with stress related issues.

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3 points

Interesting. I was a raging jackass for about 6 months after quitting. It was very stressful.

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1 point

Oh, quitting is stressful as hell. But cutting back dials down the effects of smoking some, and once you’ve quit all the way, it’s so much better

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3 points

At least with a cigar, you’re not inhaling, so most of the major problems from smoking cigarettes doesn’t apply. I used to smoke cigarettes, smoke cigars now. Cigarettes would give me real cravings, I couldn’t go more than a couple hours without one. I don’t get that at all with cigars, I can have one at the campfire at night, and have no need for another after that.

Also, if I have a lighter on me and someone asks, then I’ll let them use it. OTOH, some cigar snobs out there insist on using expensive matches to light their cigar, so if that’s what he’s using, then I can’t blame him as much for not wanting to share.

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2 points

Man, I wish I could enjoy the occasional cigar without it setting off the urge for other tobacco. But that’s how I ended up going back to smoking the last time, so I know better for myself.

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2 points

What a grouch, it’s off-putting

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15 points

Look here, my tender youth. If you say he’s off-putting again I’ll bop you in the biffer!

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7 points

Good sir, your perspective is clear and very much in tune with the spirit of our age. Thank you for the sound walloping :)

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4 points

If you ever misuse biff like that again, I’ll biff you in the bopper!

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Everett True Comics

!truecomics@midwest.social

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A place to appreciate the twentieth century comic character Everett True of “The Outbursts of Everett True.” Feel free to check out the sticky.

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