122 points

We are in a climate emergency that must be drastically dealt with immediately.

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34 points
*

I might even go so far as plant a few policies in their heads. “We are in a climate emergency, and we should address it immediately with policies such as carbon tax-and-dividend, ending subsidies for harmful industries such as fossil fuels and industrial agriculture, investing in both established and promising renewable energy sources such as solar and wind and tidal and geothermal, reducing our dependence on cars with more electrified public transport and denser urban design, and encouraging better urban land use patterns with land value taxes.” One sentence = one thought, right?

Knowing humans, if we didn’t use this magical power to guide them to good solutions, a good number of us would conclude, “That’s it, we need to nuke China and India to save the Earth!”

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5 points

I’m not sure that just putting the message in their heads would make them actually do it. I feel like the (American) right wing party would just start campaigning with “The commie liberals are using Jewish space lasers to plant their eco hoax in our brains! We must vote the out before they use it to turn your children trans!!!”

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6 points

This is my choice as well.

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3 points

Could you slip in a mention for biosphere collapse too?

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67 points

I’d go with “Hey, it’s God. I actually AM real, but I’m heading out. You guys are on your own from now on, no more afterlife or anything. So be good to each other! Alright, I’m out. (oh, and just some advice? you might want to get ahead of this climate change thing)”

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17 points

Sounds like a recipe to stir up religious backlash on insert group here for driving god away

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4 points

Yeah, I was hoping the wording of my message would make people give up religious malarkey, but you’re probably right. Even being told “don’t use religion to be a jerk” wouldn’t stop people from doing it.

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1 point

tbf, I can’t think of a better message myself

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3 points

This would cause a global epidemic of suicides and unrest. When billions of people lose their faith, the don’t take it very lightly.

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1 point
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Yeaaaah, it’s not a perfect plan…

EDIT: Not to mention, I’d be a little worried about what all those “without the Bible, there’s nothing to stop atheists from raping and murdering everyone!” people would do.

Also, if I died and found out religion WAS correct and there was a god, wheeeew doggies I’ll bet I’d be in trouble.

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49 points

“MothBookkeeper is the dictator of the world, and I completely trust his decisions.”

Nevermind the logistics of that; power lives where people believe it does.

Then I could make multiple beneficial changes, such as:

  • Heavily taxing the rich
  • Enacting drastic climate policy
  • Banning paper stickers that rip as you try to take them off
  • Sending Mitch McConnell on a rocket into the sun
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11 points

Considering our names start similar and that you going to do something about stickers that rip off, I give you my support

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11 points

I also choose this man’s Moth

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2 points

The Florida and Texas Governors have to fight to the death on a platform suspended by a stationary helicopter a mile over cocaine shark infested waters, and the pilot bailed out 20 minutes ago. Trump is the referee.

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1 point

That’s it, you’re president. You have my support lol.

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37 points

“You lost the game”

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That’s just rude. But also the best idea.

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2 points

Fuck you, it was a year already.

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32 points

Don’t be a dick

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30 points

Problem with that is that many people are being dicks while thinking that they are not being dicks.

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7 points

Used to have this as the only rule for my Discord server, and it obviously wasn’t clear enough for people to get.

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4 points

Clear message is sometimes the best.

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1 point

One of my favorite Bowling for Soup songs.

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