Personally I’ve gotta go with Paranormal Activity. So much of the movie is literally just watching people do normal day-to-day stuff, which is supposed to “build suspense,” but I just found it incredibly boring. Nothing happens at all for literally half the movie. The plot is the same unimaginative slop of haunted house evil ghost of every generic horror movie of that era. I also hate the whole, “found footage” shakeycam stuff because to me it completely breaks immersion and suspension of disbelief. Does that do it for people who actually believe in ghosts or something?
There’s literally not a single interesting thing about the movie, and not even anything fun to critique or make fun of, it’s just boring. If you’re thinking about watching this movie, instead, go out and watch an empty pool for an hour, then watch the trailer, and you’ll have seen everything that the movie has to offer.
I wonder if this like the Seinfeld isn’t funny trope. Like, it’s awful and boring and unoriginal because it was basically the first horror movie movie to do much of this house cam found footage thing. I say this because I found the movie quite scary when I first saw it (when it first came out), but can see why it would be really boring and derivative today
Idk if watching smth by way of mst3k counts but Monster A Go-Go (1965) has literally no resolution to its plot, the titular monster has like three mins of screentime before vanishing without a trace right before it gets caught (the episode itself is a personal fave of mine though)
I want to say Deadpool vs Wolverine but I only watched like 45 minutes of it. But afterwards I felt whatever is the psychological equivalent of stuffing yourself with 5 cheeseburgers in a row. I mean I felt gross and sad and kind of like I’d somehow been cheated
Your cheeseburger analogy cracked me up cuz i feel similar. Deadpool and wolvie was enjoyable to me as I’ve never watched a film so overtly and joyously tell my brain to shut off. At nearly no point in the film did things make sense outside the moment in which they were happening. My brain, usually so busy cataloging plot holes and such was so quickly and thoroughly overwhelmed that i actually was able to enjoy the stupidity. Afterwards i felt ‘full’ but definitely not ‘nourished’
I dunno about worst, but I fucking hate 300. It tries so hard to insert Snyder’s american fetishism in the setting that it quite literraly inverts reality to show the brave, patriot, manly, free, christian americans Spartans facing the evil, godless, deformed, queer, arabs.
Pesonally, I usually can ignore shitty politics when watching a good movie, and sometimes even good slop, but 300 even fails to be a good action movie because it had to add a shitty slow motion effect every time Zack Snyder jerks off to how smart he is
300 is so fucked up. Imagine presenting the Spartans as good guys after opening with a narrator telling us they murder any babies they see as imperfect.
I fo real turned off the movie (i only gave it a shot cuz my friend wouldn’t shut up about it) right then. ‘Na, this movie will make me madder from here’ i thought.
If you think that’s bad, just read about how they treated their Helot slaves.
Mandatory ritualistic beating and shaming, and a yearly actual purge to keep them in line.
Spartans are about the most pathetic culture to have ever existed.
Spartans are about the most pathetic culture to have ever existed.
They were also a bunch of idle fancy lads whose requirement for citizenship/personhood was literally “rich enough to come chill at the country club with the lads all day without ever having to work even a single day” while also being extremely greedy so that they’d buy up the land of anyone whose wealth dipped a little leading to their “eligible for military service” class consistently shrinking all the time to the point that they did major land redistribution twice in order to restore the size of their citizen class (since they were the only ones allowed to be “real” soldiers, as opposed to all the non-citizen light soldiers and enslaved canon fodder they also used).
And before you think “oh, so given their supposed martial prowess they were using that free time to stay in shape and do drills or something?” the answer is no, they were literally just hanging out drinking and eating at their rich boy clubs all day and their actual military performance was not measurably distinct from other Greek city states (including their neighbors) for most of their history, even though they liked to wank about how they were best and coolest because “remember Leonidas?” and shit, with only a pretty brief window where they seem to have actually started to try to live up to their own propaganda and managed to be a regional power before then failing again and rapidly diminishing to the point that the city of Sparta itself became lost and forgotten with the descendants of the Spartans reduced to just being some small time fishermen in a tiny village well before the Roman era.
You know what’s funny? The supposedly unbiased justifications you hear from chuds on American exceptionalism or colonialism was present with Persians: they’re the more advanced society, they were far better educated and also that whole ‘everyone invades everyone all the time tho!’. The depiction of the Persians in this movie should’ve been met with accusations of wokism for portraying them in such an extremely negative light.
Honorary mention to Rebel Moon, Zack Snyder’s Temu-brand Star Wars movie.
Things that are bad: Plot, dialogue, acting, direction, , sets, props, costumes, effects.
Things that are good: Robot with a flower crown
